An Important Anniversary

 

When Dominic was first diagnosed with Autism at 2 1/2, I truly had no idea what would happen when he turned 18 (which is now just 8 short months away). Would he go to college? would he live in a residential facility? would he have a job? It is so hard to predict the future for any of your children, but especially for those with higher support needs. Today, marks the one-year Anniversary of Dominic's baking business, "Baked Goods By Dominic." I have spent the past few days thinking about that. I read recently that just 32% of adults with Autism have paying jobs. That means there are 68% that are not employed. That is a HUGE number. I have told more than one person since Dominic's business started, it's not like someone was going to knock on our front door when Dominic turns 18 and say, "hey, I'm here to offer Dominic a job!"  We had to create an opportunity for him.  Living in Michigan, he can be in the school district until he is 26. We had a choice to make this year. He could wait until he "aged" out of the school system or have him "graduate" with his typically-developing peers in June of 2022. My husband and I discussed it and decided that we wanted him to graduate with his typically-developing peers in June. Dominic first started special education services in the school system when he was three. Putting my "baby" on the school bus that first day was very difficult.  

To my knowledge, he has never been bullied.  I like to say that he travels around in his protective "bubble" at school. When we go places in town, we almost always run into someone that says, "hey Dominic!" He has had amazing teachers, parapros, therapists, etc. and I am personal friends with many of them. Each and every one of them has had a part in getting Dominic to the point he is now. In the Fall of 2021, he started working at a local business doing custodial work. He is able to tell the hubby and I every day when he hops off the bus what he did.  It has been amazing to watch how much confidence he has in himself when he can tell us. When Dominic turns 18, we will seek full guardianship of him. As much as we had hoped he could make his own decisions, we also have to be realistic. My husband and I have to do what is in his best interests. Dominic's business just hit 150 orders. When we first started out a year ago, it reminded me of when Dominic was first diagnosed with Autism at 2 1/2, I had no idea what the future would hold for the business. When my dad unexpectedly passed away three weeks after the business started, it was devastating, even more so because we couldn't travel from Michigan to Maryland for the funeral because of COVID.  In early 2021, I started a Facebook page for Dominic's business. He now has a huge on-line "community" that supports him and our family 100%. I use the Facebook page to talk not only about his business, but what it's like to raise a child with differing needs. It's like what I use this blog for! I have already had parents reach out to me and want their children to work for Dominic. I have parents who have children newly diagnosed with Autism tell me that Dominic's business is an "inspiration" to them and gives them hope for their children. It makes my heart so full to hear that! As for the business, it is no longer a matter of "if" we will have a brick-and-mortar business, but "when!"

Focus on the Positive

Dominic starts his senior year of high school this coming Tuesday. Living near a large university, we have received a handful of brochures and letters in the mail addressed to Dominic asking him to consider going to their college. I came to terms with the diagnosis of  his Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), a long time ago (like two weeks after the diagnosis), but I have to admit a small part of me was sad.  If Dominic was a "typical" incoming senior, we would be making an appointment with a professional photographer for senior pictures, visiting possible colleges for him to go to and he would probably be driving a car to school everyday.  Instead, I decided that I wanted Lauren to take his senior pictures, we will not be visiting colleges and he won't be driving himself to school everyday.  When Dominic was first diagnosed with ASD, I truly had no idea what to expect. I have said it before and I'll say it again, my only frame of reference of ASD was the movie, "Rainman." No one on my side of the family or my husband's has Autism.  It wasn't that long ago that doctors automatically told parents to put their children with ASD into institutions. I follow a handful of ASD blogs on Facebook and yes, some children and adults need to be in residential facilities for their safety and the safety of their family members/caregivers. I originally started writing this blog over ten years ago, because I had experienced a ton of grief and needed a way to get it out. I wanted people that read my blog to know that even if you have been through a lot, you can still come out the other side and be okay.  I have written about the losses of family members, my own health issues, Lauren going to college, having a stepson and many other topics.  For the past few years, I have written a lot about Dominic. With the current statistic of 1 in 54 having Autism, you are bound to know someone with ASD. I have always wanted my blog to have a "positive" spin. I know that I personally don't like to read blogs that don't give any hope at all. Yes, raising a child with different challenges isn't always rainbows and unicorns, but there are many things that Dominic has accomplished that I never thought possible when he was diagnosed with Autism at 2 1/2. 

I had given up on potty-training Dominic because I thought it was impossible. It took a long time and he was over age nine, but it did eventually happen! I never thought Dominic would be able to read, but he has read 22 books to Lauren (it's something we started during the Pandemic and we have no intentions on stopping). I have always wanted Dominic to altar serve in our church. If you have ever been to a Catholic Mass, you know that you can hear a pin drop. When Dominic was very young, we didn't take him to church at all. As he got older, we would sit in the glass hallway because he couldn't sit still. Dominic worked very hard with his private speech therapist to be able to be quiet in church. We would have to promise him elevator rides as a reward. We then sat in the chapel area in the very back of the church and then eventually made it to the front of the church. Dominic altar served for the first time in our church about a month ago. It's hard to put into words the emotions I felt watching him.

Last November, we started a Michigan Cottage Food Business called "Baked Goods By Dominic." Yes, we started a business during the Pandemic!! My dad unexpectedly passed away about a week before Christmas. We were not able to attend his funeral and it was one of the worst experiences I have ever been through in my life. My dad and I had gotten very close, especially after my mom's passing a little over three years ago. It took until about the middle of January, to start the business back up. We were on television twice and on the front page of the local newspaper. 

Fabulous opportunities keep coming our way. Yesterday, Dominic delivered his 127th order! This past year, our family has experienced the losses of family and close friends. Just yesterday, we found out a gal we know from church passed away. She is just a few months older than my husband. We had just saw her at church a week ago. While her loss will leave a huge hole, I am trying to focus on the positive memories I have of her. She always greeted us with a smile at church and she went out of her way to be friendly to both Lauren and Dominic. Life has a way of being very unpredictable, doesn't it? Even though Dominic will not be a "typical" incoming senior, he has accomplished so much! I try to find something positive in each and every day. That's the way I live my life, how about you?

It's Time to Leave the "Protective Bubble"

This Friday is Dominic's last day of 11th grade. He did part of 10th grade and all of 11th grade "virtually." While "virtual learning" has been good in some ways, there definitely has been one huge disadvantage. He has had seven seizures since March of 2020. All of Dominic's seizures, except the very first one, have been caused by anxiety/stress/change of routine. Each time he has had a seizure, I have had to call his Pediatric Neurologist and we discuss his medications. At Dominic's most recent in-person appointment, the Pediatric Neurologist basically said Dominic was at the top limits on his two current anti-seizure medications and she was very concerned about adding a third, especially since he was continuing to have seizures.  After some discussion, since Dominic also has Generalized Anxiety Disorder, we decided to treat the anxiety with a low dose of the generic version of Zoloft. Thank goodness he hasn't had any side effects and he has had only one very small seizure since he's been on the generic version of Zoloft, so I would say it's a success! We did have the option of sending Dominic back in person a few months ago, but given he had not gotten the COVID-19 Vaccine yet, the hubby and I decided it would be better and less disruptive to let him continue the remainder of 11th grade "virtually." During this Pandemic, we added another day of private speech therapy,  private drawing classes with an awesome artist

 and started a Michigan Cottage Food Business, Baked Goods By Dominic. 

He has had no disruption of his private music therapy, since we have a piano at our house. In Dominic's "dream" world, he would spend 24/7 inside our house and never go out.  He really needs to be around other kids his age, although I am pretty sure Dominic would disagree! Since March of 2020, he has been able to do countless puzzles, 

Legos and his calendars. We were given the choice a few weeks ago of sending Dominic to an "optional" Summer Program at his high school. My initial response was no, only because I didn't know what the Program would be like or how many kids would be in his class. Once I found out that it would be structured, a small class and working on skills we have been working on at home, my husband and decided together it would be really good for him. The Superintendent of our school district sent an e-mail very recently that said in-person classes would resume for all students in the Fall of 2021, unless you have a medical exemption, so in retrospect, we definitely made the right decision. This morning, I got up 15 minutes before school started and Dominic woke up 10 minutes before. He didn't have time for me to write his schedule, have breakfast, get dressed, brush teeth or give him his medications before school started (these are things he ALWAYS does before school). He did his first class in his pajamas! On top of that, the hubby is having his oil changed in his car and we had to go pick him up at the car place shortly after the first class ended! I told Dominic to put on his flip-flops and bring his breakfast with him in the car. I had some anxiety, actually ALOT of anxiety (I also have Generalized Anxiety Disorder) that throwing all these changes at him (with basically no warning) would fluster him, cause a meltdown and/or he would have a seizure.  It has been like walking a tightrope since March of 2020 because of the Epilepsy.  I was pleasantly surprised - he had no trouble at all!! He handled it like a pro! This morning, after we got back from the car place, Dominic had just enough time for me to write his schedule down, take his medications, brush his teeth and get dressed before his second class. I went back in forth in my head as to whether this morning would be a good time to tell him about the Summer Program since his morning routine had not been "typical" at all. Since I had already put it off for a while, I decided to take a chance. Dominic is really into calendars, so I took the June calendar off of our fridge and told him to get the July and August calendars. I then told him I wanted to talk to him about something. I had written down all the Summer Program dates on a separate sheet of paper. He watched me write down every date for the Summer Program onto the June, July and August calendars and I also told him some of the kids that would be in the Summer Program. He knows three of them, so I am anticipating the transition to be smooth. Since March of 2020, it's like Dominic has been in a "protective bubble." He has gone for walks and to church. That has been it. I knew at some point this time would come - he would need leave the "bubble" and return to school. I can say with 100% certainty that both Dominic and I are ready!!!

Living with Congestive Heart Failure

Both of my parents passed away of Congestive Heart Failure, my mom almost three years ago and my dad almost four months ago. So, I guess you could say it runs in the family.   I never thought in a million years that I would be diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure, but I was. It will be ten years on November 21 of this year. It was interesting how I was diagnosed. I had routinely been giving blood at the local American Red Cross and the nurse noticed an irregular heartbeat when taking my pulse. She said, "has anyone ever told you that?" I was like, "no, I don't think so." Around this same time, I noticed that I was having shortness of breath, but attributed that to possibly walking too fast during my daily walks. I reached out to my regular doctor, told her my concerns and she ordered a stress test. It involves walking/running on a treadmill. When I had my appointment at the local hospital, they had to stop my stress test because I was breathing really, really hard. The technician stopped the test immediately, because of that. I started to get a little concerned, when they said, "hey, do you have time for a cardiac catherization?" I was like, "let me check with my husband, he's expecting me back home soon." Once I called my husband (he was watching the kids) and told him what was going on, he told me to go ahead and do the cardiac catherization since they had an open appointment. Okay, now I'm going to get a little graphic here. They put you flat on your back and put a catheter through your groin and up into the heart to see what the heck is going on. I was pretty chill, because I was positive they would just tell me I was stressed out (2011, up until that point was an extremely stressful year). After the cardiac catherization, I had to rest a bit. I will never forget what the cardiologist told me when he came in the room to tell me the results. He said, "Mrs. Blatnik, you have Congestive Heart Failure." Pardon me?? The next question immediately out of my mouth was, "so, what is the worst case scenario?" His matter-of-fact response was, "heart transplant." It was at about this point, I began to feel like I was in a really bad dream. Shortly, after the cardiologist left, my husband, Lauren and Dominic came into the room. I think they were all surprised that what was supposed to be a stress test, ending up with me lying in a hospital bed!! Shortly after my family visited and left, my blood pressure took a dangerous turn. I remember feeling a little dizzy and me pushing the button for the nurse, because I was thinking something odd was going on.  The next thing I know, a bunch of doctors and nurses ran into the room, trying to get my blood pressure stabilized. It was like 30/10 or something around there.  I think they gave me a medication to bring it back up (I don't remember) and I started to feel better and my blood pressure went back up. I was kept overnight in the hospital, because of that little episode and I went home the next day. All I kept thinking in my head was that I would need a heart transplant and/or be hooked up to an oxygen tank for the rest of my life, I was just 48 at the time. Luckily, the cardiologist has me on a "cocktail" of medications that keep everything in check. I make sure to NEVER miss the medications and I go yearly to the cardiologist. When I tell people that I have Congestive Heart Failure, typically a look of shock is next. Once I tell them it is managed mostly by medications, I see them relax.  I have an echocardiogram coming up on September 27. Since my dad's passing in December of 2020, I definitely have been thinking more about my own diagnosis of Congestive Heart Failure. What if that nurse hadn't noticed my irregular heartbeat that day in 2011 when I donated blood? She literally saved my life. I like to think she was my "guardian angel," because I only saw her that one time and never again. Neither of my parent's Congestive Heart Failure diagnoses came soon enough for them to be treated for it. I am very blessed that I was and I don't ever take a day for granted. 

Why The Pandemic Has Been the Best Time to Start a Business for My Son with Autism

This month marks the one-year "anniversary" of Dominic being home full-time from school. When the Pandemic started, I guess I was VERY optimistic and thought it would only last a few weeks. Little did I know, that almost a year later, the Pandemic would still be raging on. It has been of a bit of a "learning curve" having Dominic here and my husband working from home (the hubby likes to call it a "preview" of what it will be like when he retires)!!  We have worked out a good system, so one of us is always home with Dominic. He can't be left alone because of his Complex Partial Epilepsy.  He has had six seizures since the Pandemic started, the most recent one was the beginning of January. Since we have had LOTS of extra time in our schedule, in June of 2020, we went from once-a-week private speech therapy to twice-a-week. It has been a pretty seamless transition from in-person to "virtual" learning with her. His private speech therapist has moved away from worksheets and started to concentrate heavily on "work/life skills." It was her suggestion to start to have Dominic bake for her and then she would pay him for his finished baked product. We really wanted him to make that connection. I started to wonder if we could bake for other people and make it into a "business." I started to comb the Internet for information and found that Michigan has something called a "Cottage Food Law." I did some research and then sat on the information for a while. It was several pages of Rules and Regulations (very overwhelming and intimidating at first). I began to think long-term and after finding a free on-line workshop on running a "Cottage Food" business and registering for it (the workshop wasn't until December), I decided to move forward. I already had tons of recipes at my disposal on my food blog, so I knew that I wouldn't need to be continually testing out new recipes! I then began to think that we probably should come up with a name and a logo. This is where an artist friend of mine, that I had used for classes for the disability ministry came into the picture. I asked him if he could start private art lessons with Dominic (even though Dominic had showed ZERO interest at previous art events with the disability ministry).  Dominic started his weekly private art lessons in August of 2020 and except for a few times, he has been going steadily every week! It has been AMAZING to watch his self-confidence grow!!  A few months into the lessons, I asked if Dominic could start designing a logo for the business. My artist friend agreed and we let Dominic make all the decisions about what it would look like, the colors, etc.  I even ordered a shirt with the logo on it for Dominic and one for his sister!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyways, we got our first order at the end of November and little by little, we started to get orders. In the second week of December, a few days after the on-line workshop about running a "Cottage Food Business," my dad (who lived back in Maryland) went into the hospital with what we all thought was a minor infection. It turned out he was in end-stage Congestive Heart Failure and my beloved dad passed away on December 17. I was devastated by his passing and it took me until a week or so into January before I felt like I could re-start the business.   

A few weeks ago, we filed the name "Baked Goods By Dominic" with the local county clerk's office  AND opened a bank account!!! Our family has had an outpouring of support and Dominic just delivered his 22nd order a few days ago. I have mentioned it before, but my maternal great-grandfather owned and operated a bakery in Butler, Missouri. He is the shorter gentleman standing at the far end of the counter. Pretty cool to have this picture, isn't it? 

I love that this baking business has started for several reasons. One is that I had stopped baking, because my life pre-Pandemic had gotten very, very busy. This Pandemic has forced me to slow down and resume my passion for baking!! The second reason is that Dominic is learning both "life" and "work" skills. One of his favorite things to do when we go on a delivery is to hold my phone and help me "navigate" with Google Maps. The third reason is that my ultimate goal for this business is for Dominic to have his own bakery (like my great-grandfather had), but employ ONLY those with special needs. It's a great (and realistic) goal to have, don't you think?!?!?!