I had my son when I was over 40 years old and my hubby was over 50 years old. I guess you could say our little guy was kind of a "surprise." When he was little he cried more than the average baby. I was kind of out of practice because my daughter was 8 when he was born so it had been a while since diapers and all-nighters. Around the time of his birth things were very chaotic, we were traveling back and forth to Cleveland because my hubby's dad was ill. After his dad passed we then cleaned out their house which was packed with stuff. We made lots of trips back and forth to Cleveland, being my husband is an only child and at the time his mom was still in Cleveland in an assisted living facility. I didn't notice that my son wasn't really talking or communicating. As we soon came to find out he had Autism. Being such a proactive person once I found that out I have done tons of research. So many people along the way on this journey with him have been wonderful. He had two amazing teachers at school. To teach children with special needs you have to be a "special" kind of teacher. I remember when he was just starting school I was feeling kind of sorry for myself about him having Autism. His teacher said, "focus on what he can do, not what he can't." That has been such good advice. Autism is different for every child, which makes it hard to know what intervention is the best. We got him diagnosed about 2 1/2 and about 6 months or so later, we found out he also has ADHD. Even with all of my son's challenges I consider him a precious gift. He has brought such joy to our family and just makes our life even more richer by being part of it.
When Dominic was diagnosed with Autism at 2 1/2, I went to our local library and took out every book I could find about Autism. Sometimes I would bring back 20 books. This was 2006, so a lot of the information was very "dated." I guess I was looking for a book that would tell me what I should do next, like a "manual." Autism doesn't quite work that way! The saying is, " if you know one person with Autism, you know one person with Autism." Every mom to an individual with Autism follows their own "path." I think as moms, we judge ourselves much harder than anyone else does. I was 41 when I had Dominic. Did he get the diagnosis of Autism because I was an older mom? because I drank a lot of pop? I could sit and think about that every minute of every day. I am pretty integrated into the Autism community around Lansing and have told more than one person that it took me about two weeks to come to terms with Dominic's diagnosis. It is so incredib...
I know this well, you are a wonderful mom and your wonderful son has an AMAZING family:) We all learn from everyone we meet, it is true. And I especially believe that if we really listen, we can serve them well. Rock on, mama, rock on:) Nikki
ReplyDelete