Last week when Dominic and I were walking into his music therapy class, I had a mom turn around and give Dominic what I call the "look." Like some autistic kids, Dominic will randomly start talking to himself. This mom heard him and turned around, shot me a look of disapproval, turned back around and went into the same building as Dominic and I were going into. Dominic sometimes (well, a lot of the time) is not a very patient dude and while we were waiting in the hallway, he continued talking to himself. This mom and her kids were also waiting in the same hallway. I think this woman was wishing she was anywhere but where she was. I guess Dominic was making her kind of uncomfortable. She was trying her hardest to pretend that Dominic and I didn't exist. There is a little girl with some physical disabilities that has music therapy right before Dominic. She comes out of her therapy and has the biggest smile on her face and is so happy. She and I always greet each other :) I wasn't watching the other mom, but I'm sure between this little girl and Dominic we were making her super uncomfortable. Dominic has been in an inclusive special education classroom since he was three. This past school year, he was mainstreamed in some of his classes. When I was in school, we never interacted with the special education classrooms, it was kept very separate. I remember looking at the kids and wondering what it would be like to talk to them. I think it did them a big disservice to keep them away from the other kids. I'm glad that times have changed and Dominic has the opportunity to be with typically developing children. It teaches the other kids at his school that not all children "look" and act the same and that it's okay to be different.
When Dominic was diagnosed with Autism at 2 1/2, I went to our local library and took out every book I could find about Autism. Sometimes I would bring back 20 books. This was 2006, so a lot of the information was very "dated." I guess I was looking for a book that would tell me what I should do next, like a "manual." Autism doesn't quite work that way! The saying is, " if you know one person with Autism, you know one person with Autism." Every mom to an individual with Autism follows their own "path." I think as moms, we judge ourselves much harder than anyone else does. I was 41 when I had Dominic. Did he get the diagnosis of Autism because I was an older mom? because I drank a lot of pop? I could sit and think about that every minute of every day. I am pretty integrated into the Autism community around Lansing and have told more than one person that it took me about two weeks to come to terms with Dominic's diagnosis. It is so incredib...
Dominic brings such joy everywhere he goes. It is too bad some people judge so easily. I love that he is in a music class and I hope her "bad" attitude doesn't affect him as much as his mother. It hurts so badly when our children are attacked. Love, Auntie Penny
ReplyDeleteWe think Dominic is a joy too - thanks for the kind words :)
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