When Lauren was in elementary and middle school, I volunteered as much as I could in her classroom and at the school. Now that she is in high school, the volunteer opportunities are not as plentiful as they were when she was younger, though some do exist :) Volunteering in Dominic's classroom has been very minimal since he is in a special education classroom. He is into his routine and schedules and if I showed up (unannounced), he would automatically think something is wrong. I have had to find other ways to give of my time at his school. A handful of years ago, I used to be that gal that would "over volunteer" and I would be completely overextended and exhausted. What I have discovered as I have gotten older, is that it is okay to say the word "no" when someone asks you to volunteer. When you say that word, though, it's sometimes hard to not feel a little guilty about it! I currently serve on a committee with a multi-year commitment at my church. There is much, much more I would love to be doing at my church, but with Lauren heading towards her senior year of high school and Dominic starting fourth grade in the Fall of 2013, I know that is not possible at this time. I have never forgotten something a fellow mom told me once. We were discussing how children need you so much when they are young. I couldn't picture Lauren being a teen (she was only in second or third grade at the time). I was telling my friend something like, "oh, they don't need you as much when they get to high school!!" My friend who has three children (all older than Lauren) remarked back to me, "oh, they need you more!" She was right :) I would love to be able to deliver meals to the elderly and work as a volunteer for people in hospice. Now is not the right time for those things. Lauren, Dominic and my stepson, though they are all different ages, all need me in different ways. When the kids get a little older, there will be plenty of time for me to volunteer more and I'm okay with that.
When Dominic was diagnosed with Autism at 2 1/2, I went to our local library and took out every book I could find about Autism. Sometimes I would bring back 20 books. This was 2006, so a lot of the information was very "dated." I guess I was looking for a book that would tell me what I should do next, like a "manual." Autism doesn't quite work that way! The saying is, " if you know one person with Autism, you know one person with Autism." Every mom to an individual with Autism follows their own "path." I think as moms, we judge ourselves much harder than anyone else does. I was 41 when I had Dominic. Did he get the diagnosis of Autism because I was an older mom? because I drank a lot of pop? I could sit and think about that every minute of every day. I am pretty integrated into the Autism community around Lansing and have told more than one person that it took me about two weeks to come to terms with Dominic's diagnosis. It is so incredib...
Comments
Post a Comment