Earlier this week I was hanging out with some other parents in a hallway waiting for our kids to get out of a music class. It was totally quiet and everybody was kind of minding their own business. Some were reading, others were looking at their computers. A dad (who was also waiting for one of his kids) came walking down the hallway and randomly said, "does anybody here want to sign a petition?" I don't remember what the petition was for, but I do remember it wasn't a petition I wanted to sign. The other parents kind of acted like they didn't hear him, but I looked over at him and shook my head no. It was extremely awkward, nobody said anything after the guy said it, complete silence. I went back to reading my magazine that I had brought, but it made me think of other "awkward" silences, like stepping into an elevator with a bunch of people or waiting in a crowded doctor's office. Most people don't really know each other and if you do start talking then other people kind of stare at you. One day this week on my walk, I passed a man I didn't know who was walking his dog. I looked right him and said, "Good morning, what a beautiful dog!!!" He smiled back at me and said, "thank you!" I didn't know this guy from a hole in the wall and I could have blown past him, not acknowledging him. To me that's just rude! Who cares if you know the person or not, how hard is it to smile or say hi??
When Dominic was diagnosed with Autism at 2 1/2, I went to our local library and took out every book I could find about Autism. Sometimes I would bring back 20 books. This was 2006, so a lot of the information was very "dated." I guess I was looking for a book that would tell me what I should do next, like a "manual." Autism doesn't quite work that way! The saying is, " if you know one person with Autism, you know one person with Autism." Every mom to an individual with Autism follows their own "path." I think as moms, we judge ourselves much harder than anyone else does. I was 41 when I had Dominic. Did he get the diagnosis of Autism because I was an older mom? because I drank a lot of pop? I could sit and think about that every minute of every day. I am pretty integrated into the Autism community around Lansing and have told more than one person that it took me about two weeks to come to terms with Dominic's diagnosis. It is so incredib...
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