This Mother's Day will be the 22nd that I have known my stepson. When he was little he used to sit on my lap and snuggle with me. Hard to believe, but in about a year and half he will be 30. When his dad and I got married in 1995, he was a junior usher at our wedding. We have a mutual understanding and respect for each other and I am very proud of all that he has accomplished in his life. When he got accepted into two graduate schools, he asked me which one he should choose. They both were excellent schools. One was about an hour away from us, the other was a couple thousand miles away. We would have really loved it if he picked the one closest to us, but I told him that it would have to be his decision. He ended up picking the one a couple thousand miles away :) I have tried not to tell him what to do, but rather help guide him towards making good decisions. He has grown from a little kid into a man. I have never tried to take the place of his mom. I think that's a mistake some stepmoms make. He has a mother that has done a wonderful job of raising him. My two children adore their older brother. When he comes to visit us, we are the "Fab 5" again. When he isn't with us, we miss him terribly. Thank goodness for Skype! It has become an integral part of our Sunday morning to talk to my stepson. I think it kind of cracks him up when we all try and crowd around the computer. Last week when we talked to him on the I-Pad I had it turned the wrong way and I think he could see every pore on my face until Lauren (my computer guru) turned it around the right way. He said, "that's a little up close and personal!" I treasure my relationship with my stepson and feel honored to be part of his life.
When Dominic was diagnosed with Autism at 2 1/2, I went to our local library and took out every book I could find about Autism. Sometimes I would bring back 20 books. This was 2006, so a lot of the information was very "dated." I guess I was looking for a book that would tell me what I should do next, like a "manual." Autism doesn't quite work that way! The saying is, " if you know one person with Autism, you know one person with Autism." Every mom to an individual with Autism follows their own "path." I think as moms, we judge ourselves much harder than anyone else does. I was 41 when I had Dominic. Did he get the diagnosis of Autism because I was an older mom? because I drank a lot of pop? I could sit and think about that every minute of every day. I am pretty integrated into the Autism community around Lansing and have told more than one person that it took me about two weeks to come to terms with Dominic's diagnosis. It is so incredib...
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