A Trio of "Tissue" Moments

Last Saturday, Dominic had a session with his private speech therapist. We had not seen her since January, due to circumstances beyond our control. I wasn't quite sure how he would do, given it had been so long since he had seen her. He definitely didn't have very good eye contact with her, but during the session he did say, "I love you, mommy!" Okay, tissue moment #1 (for both her and I).

Getting Dominic potty trained was definitely one of the biggest parenting challenges I have ever faced. Even though he is heading towards being 11 years old, we still have to "prompt" him to use the toilet every 2-3 hours. I'm ecstatic that he will go "on command," but in the back of my mind, I know he needs to be able to recognize that "feeling" of needing to go. Well, in the past week, he has told me three separate times that he had to go! Yep, tissue moment #2.

Dominic has been to a barber shop a grand total of two times in his entire life. We decided many years ago, that I would be his personal "hairstylist." I have a business degree, not a cosmetology degree, so the haircut is not always even or thinned out enough, but I do a halfway decent job. When Dominic was smaller, I would put him in his removable booster seat and strap him in. As he has gotten older, we have "graduated" to sitting on the floor. Believe me, there have always been tears, sniffling, whining, running away (sometimes all four) involved. No matter how many times I reassured Dominic that I wasn't going to hurt him, it didn't matter. I don't use an electric trimmer, so I know it's not a noise issue. Today, since he had a scheduled day off from school, I told him that he would be getting a haircut - it was even put on the "schedule" that I write for him everyday. I had a "light bulb" moment back a few haircuts ago. I used that old parenting "trick" of "first this, then that." The "that" in this case, being a meal from Burger King. We rarely eat out, so for him, it is a very special treat. I don't normally like to reward Dominic with food, but since I only cut his hair about every 8-10 weeks and I usually have a good coupon, it makes sense. We didn't get around to the haircut until about 12:15 this afternoon. He did absolutely amazing and in no time at all, we were done. Dominic was very patient and after I brushed some of the excess hair off of him, I told him to go put on his shoes. We drove down to the Burger King and got in the drive-through line. I ordered him some nuggets and fries and then as we were pulling forward to pay, he said, "thank you mommy for cutting my hair!" He has never, ever told me that before! Tissue moment #3. Good grief, do you think maybe I need to start carrying around a BOX of tissues in my purse?!?!?

Those "Steps" to Independence Can Be Hard

We are heading towards 600 orders for Dominic's business. Since our long-term goal for Baked Goods By Dominic is having a "brick-and-mortar" and hire those with disabilities, it is essential and imperative that I continue to teach him all parts of the business. Since I prompted Dominic for so many years for speech, he has become "prompt dependent." What that essentially means is that he will look at me for a prompt, like, "what do you do next?" I do that one a lot. Dominic has been going to a private speech therapist for over ten years and she reminds me often that Dominic usually will know the answer, if I am patient and wait for him. That has been a very hard habit to break! Dominic has an incredible memory, so I put it to the test this morning. I didn't write out the steps, I wanted to see how much he could do completely on his own. We have a customer picking up his order today, but the only thing that had been done is putting the cookies into t...

Why We Pursued Guardianship of our Son with Autism

Last Thursday morning, my husband, Dominic and I went to our county's Probate Court and had Dominic's Guardianship Hearing. My husband and I are Co-Guardians, and we were granted "Partial Guardianship," which means Dominic can make some of his own decisions (future educational and vocational placement options, what to wear and how he wants to spend his free time), but my husband and I will make his medical, health care, legal, contractual and major financial decisions. The subject of Guardianship in the disability "world" has been and continues to be a controversial and divisive topic. I was a panelist for an Autism Conference this past summer and presented on what it's like to have a child with Autism. Towards the end of my presentation, I mentioned that Dominic had just turned 18 and that we were going through the Guardianship process. When the attendees could ask questions, the first person that went up to the microphone started telling me that I was...

Presume Competence

Since we have traveled outside of the United States since Dominic was very small, we have had to get him a Children's Passport every five years. Since his current one expires in February of 2024 and he is now 19, we had to apply for an Adult Passport. I don't know why my husband and I picked Dominic's first day of school and Michigan State University moving in their students, but the appointment was yesterady at 3 p.m. We had gathered all of the documents needed and then went into a special room in the East Lansing Post Office just for Passports. The three of us sat down and the clerk asked Dominic his age. He said, "19." Since we were also getting his picture taken for the Passport, he went into a separate room, where she took a picture of him and then let him look at it to make sure he liked it (it will be his picture for the next 10 years)! He said he did, so he sat back down with us. The clerk filled out a bit more of the paperwork and then she let Dominic s...

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