A New Year, A Fresh Start

I have said this before and I'll say it again, my husband doesn't make New Year's Resolutions. This afternoon, I asked him why (because I couldn't remember). His response, "most people that do that, break them." Hmm, that's somewhat true. Is that because we set our expectations too high? are we setting ourselves up to fail?? A lot of people try and lose weight in the New Year. I have been thin and I have been heavy. I am an "emotional" eater. I deal with stress with overeating. Not a good thing, I know. With the unexpected passing of my mom in May, I have definitely fallen off the "wagon." It's been over seven months, time to pull up my big girl panties and start watching what I eat better. I have been putting off having some bloodwork done, because I already know what it's going to show - high levels of everything! This afternoon, I scheduled an appointment to see my doctor next week (I also scheduled an annual physical). One thing about my doctor which I really like, is that she doesn't "shame" me and make me feel bad. Okay, let's talk mental health now. Several celebrities this year have made the decision to end their lives. They had buckets of money and tons of fame, but still weren't happy. Depression and anxiety are REAL. If you are struggling, reach out to your doctor or a trusted friend. It's not a sign of weakness, it's a sign of strength. I have said this before and I'll say it again. I wish I had gotten on my anti-anxiety medication a LONG time ago. It took me over 40 years to find out my excess worrying was Generalized Anxiety Disorder. A few weeks ago, I was looking at the Obituaries in the paper, I know a bit morbid. I was mentioning to my husband that there was a gal that was just 22 that had passed away from suicide. That is the same age as Lauren, so it caught my eye. Later on that same day, I was heading to the Deaf Ministry Mass. Before I stepped out of the car to go in to the church, Lauren texted me. She said, "do you remember S. from gymnastics? she passed away." I was like, "I read an obituary for a 22-year old this morning." Turns out it was the same person the hubby and I had been talking about. I can't even imagine the pain the parents must be feeling, especially so close to the holidays. We had Lauren home for an entire week. Even though she is busy with her job, her friends and her new apartment, she still wanted to hang out with us. As much as I would have liked to go back to Maryland for the holidays, it just wasn't possible this year. I try to call my dad every night. He had a few health scares recently that I haven't really mentioned. As I was wrapping up the nightly call tonight, I told my dad, "I know that we lost mom this year, but I am blessed to still have you in my life, Dad." He said, "me too." It's been a hard year in some ways, but it's also been a good year too. It's a brand new year starting tomorrow and also a fresh start! If you see someone struggling to keep a door open, help them. Have a boatload of groceries and someone behind you has two items? Let them go ahead of you. Random acts of kindness are not hard. Happy New Year to you and yours!

Those "Steps" to Independence Can Be Hard

We are heading towards 600 orders for Dominic's business. Since our long-term goal for Baked Goods By Dominic is having a "brick-and-mortar" and hire those with disabilities, it is essential and imperative that I continue to teach him all parts of the business. Since I prompted Dominic for so many years for speech, he has become "prompt dependent." What that essentially means is that he will look at me for a prompt, like, "what do you do next?" I do that one a lot. Dominic has been going to a private speech therapist for over ten years and she reminds me often that Dominic usually will know the answer, if I am patient and wait for him. That has been a very hard habit to break! Dominic has an incredible memory, so I put it to the test this morning. I didn't write out the steps, I wanted to see how much he could do completely on his own. We have a customer picking up his order today, but the only thing that had been done is putting the cookies into t...

Why We Pursued Guardianship of our Son with Autism

Last Thursday morning, my husband, Dominic and I went to our county's Probate Court and had Dominic's Guardianship Hearing. My husband and I are Co-Guardians, and we were granted "Partial Guardianship," which means Dominic can make some of his own decisions (future educational and vocational placement options, what to wear and how he wants to spend his free time), but my husband and I will make his medical, health care, legal, contractual and major financial decisions. The subject of Guardianship in the disability "world" has been and continues to be a controversial and divisive topic. I was a panelist for an Autism Conference this past summer and presented on what it's like to have a child with Autism. Towards the end of my presentation, I mentioned that Dominic had just turned 18 and that we were going through the Guardianship process. When the attendees could ask questions, the first person that went up to the microphone started telling me that I was...

Presume Competence

Since we have traveled outside of the United States since Dominic was very small, we have had to get him a Children's Passport every five years. Since his current one expires in February of 2024 and he is now 19, we had to apply for an Adult Passport. I don't know why my husband and I picked Dominic's first day of school and Michigan State University moving in their students, but the appointment was yesterady at 3 p.m. We had gathered all of the documents needed and then went into a special room in the East Lansing Post Office just for Passports. The three of us sat down and the clerk asked Dominic his age. He said, "19." Since we were also getting his picture taken for the Passport, he went into a separate room, where she took a picture of him and then let him look at it to make sure he liked it (it will be his picture for the next 10 years)! He said he did, so he sat back down with us. The clerk filled out a bit more of the paperwork and then she let Dominic s...

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