Why Tim Tebow's Night to Shine Prom is So Important for those with Disabilities

This past Friday night was the second time Dominic went to the Tim Tebow's Night to Shine Prom. For those of you that don't know what that is, I will tell you! For one night a year in February, over 700 churches from around the United States and the world host a Prom for those with differing needs. It doesn't cost a dime to attend and as long as you are at least 14 you can attend, there is no maximum age. There are dances at Dominic's high school (Homecoming, etc.) and each time I have suggested to him to go, his response has always been a resounding no. He doesn't have enough language to tell me why he doesn't want to go, so it remains a bit of a mystery. I have my own thoughts as to why - too crowded, too loud and flashing lights. A prime setup for an Epileptic seizure. He's had 10 seizures in the past 4 1/2 years. There is a memory that is seared permanently into my mind from elementary school. This would have been approximately 1973 or so. We were walking as a class in the hallway, when the Special Education classes filed past us. I remember staring, because I hardly ever saw them. Those students were kept completely separate from the classes I was in. I'm sure they didn't like being stared at, but, I truly didn't know any better. I didn't understand what I didn't know. Fast forward to 2020. My son Dominic has Autism, ADHD, Anxiety Disorder and Epilepsy and has been receiving Special Education services in school since he was three years old. He will be 16 this July. A lot has changed since the early 1970's, but there is still more that needs to be changed. The absolute worst thing you can do is keep the Special Education students separate from their typically-developing peers. The world is full of individuals of all different abilities. If you would have asked me what Autism was back in the early 1970's I would have had no clue. Little did I know, I would have a son diagnosed with Autism when he was 2 1/2. Do you know what they used to call Autism? Childhood Schizophrenia. According to a recent article in Medical News Today,

"it was not until 1980 that childhood schizophrenia became understood as a separate diagnosis - before that time, children who today would be diagnosed with Autism, which is a type of "pervasive developmental disorder" were grouped under the diagnosis of schizophrenia."

That was a year before I graduated from high school. It was not uncommon to suggest even 20 years ago that you automatically put your autistic individual into a institution. There was a mental institution called the Crownsville Hospital Center in Maryland that opened in 1911 and closed in 2004 (the year Dominic was born). The conditions that those with mental disorders lived in were beyond deplorable. It is a part of history that I'm sure many would like to forget never happened, but sadly it did. I am SO glad that in 2020, children with special needs are integrated into the "typically-developing" classrooms and there are events such as the Tim Tebow's Night to Shine Prom. When I looked around the room last Friday night, it made me wonder about some of the experiences the much older adults in the room must have had in their lifetimes. I wish I could have had the opportunity to talk to each and every one of them. I'm sure it would make me appreciate all of the possibilities that my son has now.

Those "Steps" to Independence Can Be Hard

We are heading towards 600 orders for Dominic's business. Since our long-term goal for Baked Goods By Dominic is having a "brick-and-mortar" and hire those with disabilities, it is essential and imperative that I continue to teach him all parts of the business. Since I prompted Dominic for so many years for speech, he has become "prompt dependent." What that essentially means is that he will look at me for a prompt, like, "what do you do next?" I do that one a lot. Dominic has been going to a private speech therapist for over ten years and she reminds me often that Dominic usually will know the answer, if I am patient and wait for him. That has been a very hard habit to break! Dominic has an incredible memory, so I put it to the test this morning. I didn't write out the steps, I wanted to see how much he could do completely on his own. We have a customer picking up his order today, but the only thing that had been done is putting the cookies into t...

Why We Pursued Guardianship of our Son with Autism

Last Thursday morning, my husband, Dominic and I went to our county's Probate Court and had Dominic's Guardianship Hearing. My husband and I are Co-Guardians, and we were granted "Partial Guardianship," which means Dominic can make some of his own decisions (future educational and vocational placement options, what to wear and how he wants to spend his free time), but my husband and I will make his medical, health care, legal, contractual and major financial decisions. The subject of Guardianship in the disability "world" has been and continues to be a controversial and divisive topic. I was a panelist for an Autism Conference this past summer and presented on what it's like to have a child with Autism. Towards the end of my presentation, I mentioned that Dominic had just turned 18 and that we were going through the Guardianship process. When the attendees could ask questions, the first person that went up to the microphone started telling me that I was...

Presume Competence

Since we have traveled outside of the United States since Dominic was very small, we have had to get him a Children's Passport every five years. Since his current one expires in February of 2024 and he is now 19, we had to apply for an Adult Passport. I don't know why my husband and I picked Dominic's first day of school and Michigan State University moving in their students, but the appointment was yesterady at 3 p.m. We had gathered all of the documents needed and then went into a special room in the East Lansing Post Office just for Passports. The three of us sat down and the clerk asked Dominic his age. He said, "19." Since we were also getting his picture taken for the Passport, he went into a separate room, where she took a picture of him and then let him look at it to make sure he liked it (it will be his picture for the next 10 years)! He said he did, so he sat back down with us. The clerk filled out a bit more of the paperwork and then she let Dominic s...

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