New School, New Concerns

Last night, the hubby took me by surprise by what he said. I was telling him that Dominic and I would be heading to the high school to get his class pictures on Friday. He said, "I wonder if Dominic will be bullied." As one who was bullied in high school, it immediately brought back the feelings I try to keep buried, bubbling to the surface. I graduated 36 years ago, but it takes just a split second to feel that familiar sadness and anger. A definition of a bully according to the Merriam Webster Dictionary is:

"one who is habitually cruel, insulting, or threatening to others who are weaker, smaller, or in some way vulnerable."

There were a couple groups of girls that thrived on bullying me. They would continue to threaten me until I gave them what they wanted, to see me cry. I played sports with some of these girls, so at times it was very unpleasant. When I became a parent, I hoped that my children wouldn't be bullied. Unfortunately, Lauren went through a time when she was bullied in school. It was so hard to not want to go to the parents and say something. I really had to restrain myself. I think the hubby and I both have concerns with Dominic, given the fact that he has kind of been like in a "cocoon" at the two middle schools he attended. He has been with the same group of kids for several years and he is accepted 100% for the person he is. The high school he is going to is several times larger than where he just finished eighth grade. So, that's one challenge. Another challenge is that everything will be NEW. New rooms, new bus driver, new routines. Dominic likes to talk to himself when he is over-stimulated. Will the kids that don't know him, think that's weird? or strange? I am on social media a lot because I manage the Facebook pages of two non-profit organizations specifically for those with Autism and other special needs. I see the awful videos and articles of kids being bullied. I feel sad for those kids and I don't even know them. How will I feel if I find out Dominic is being bullied? He doesn't have the language to be able to tell me. He doesn't pick up on social cues very well, so he wouldn't even know if someone was treating him mean. That's what breaks my heart in half, the fact that he won't be able to recognize if he is being bullied. Through my connections that I have with other parents who have had their children at the high school, I can say, that I have never heard of any child being bullied. I will keep my fingers crossed, as Dominic heads to school on August 27 that he will not be the first one.

Comments

Those "Steps" to Independence Can Be Hard

We are heading towards 600 orders for Dominic's business. Since our long-term goal for Baked Goods By Dominic is having a "brick-and-mortar" and hire those with disabilities, it is essential and imperative that I continue to teach him all parts of the business. Since I prompted Dominic for so many years for speech, he has become "prompt dependent." What that essentially means is that he will look at me for a prompt, like, "what do you do next?" I do that one a lot. Dominic has been going to a private speech therapist for over ten years and she reminds me often that Dominic usually will know the answer, if I am patient and wait for him. That has been a very hard habit to break! Dominic has an incredible memory, so I put it to the test this morning. I didn't write out the steps, I wanted to see how much he could do completely on his own. We have a customer picking up his order today, but the only thing that had been done is putting the cookies into t...

Why We Pursued Guardianship of our Son with Autism

Last Thursday morning, my husband, Dominic and I went to our county's Probate Court and had Dominic's Guardianship Hearing. My husband and I are Co-Guardians, and we were granted "Partial Guardianship," which means Dominic can make some of his own decisions (future educational and vocational placement options, what to wear and how he wants to spend his free time), but my husband and I will make his medical, health care, legal, contractual and major financial decisions. The subject of Guardianship in the disability "world" has been and continues to be a controversial and divisive topic. I was a panelist for an Autism Conference this past summer and presented on what it's like to have a child with Autism. Towards the end of my presentation, I mentioned that Dominic had just turned 18 and that we were going through the Guardianship process. When the attendees could ask questions, the first person that went up to the microphone started telling me that I was...

Presume Competence

Since we have traveled outside of the United States since Dominic was very small, we have had to get him a Children's Passport every five years. Since his current one expires in February of 2024 and he is now 19, we had to apply for an Adult Passport. I don't know why my husband and I picked Dominic's first day of school and Michigan State University moving in their students, but the appointment was yesterady at 3 p.m. We had gathered all of the documents needed and then went into a special room in the East Lansing Post Office just for Passports. The three of us sat down and the clerk asked Dominic his age. He said, "19." Since we were also getting his picture taken for the Passport, he went into a separate room, where she took a picture of him and then let him look at it to make sure he liked it (it will be his picture for the next 10 years)! He said he did, so he sat back down with us. The clerk filled out a bit more of the paperwork and then she let Dominic s...

bountifulplate

Search This Blog