Advice for the New School Year

"Dominic is one of the brightest individuals I met. I was very lucky to have him in my classroom this summer. He definitely made me a fan of Wheel of Fortune. If you ever need anything, please don't hesitate to call."

Wow. That was the note I got from Dominic's teacher on his last day of summer school. Those four sentences are exactly what I LOVE to hear. When you have a child with limited or no speech and you ask them how their day is at school, you either get silence or very few details. This is the way it has been since Dominic started school at age three. He just turned 14 on July 25. We have been so lucky to have gotten fabulous teachers who call, write notes, e-mail or text. I admire and appreciate all Special Education teachers, paraprofessionals, aides, speech therapists and anyone else that works with kids/adults in the school system. I know I couldn't do it. Back when we were just starting out, I talked to another mom about her "experiences" with our local school system. She had nothing but negative things to say. Her philosophy was to constantly battle and fight. Hmm. If I had listened and BELIEVED this gal, yikes. My "operating style" is to not believe in gossip and to give everyone a fair chance before forming my own opinion. As I found out later, this gal had quite the reputation and not in a good way! Needless to say, I distanced myself from her. When we started on this Special Education school "journey," I didn't even know what an Individualized Education Program (IEP) was. I do now. I have always treated anyone that interacts with Dominic in the school system with the utmost respect. They meet many different types of families. I want our family to be remembered in a positive way. Now that we are into August, many schools will be getting ready to open their doors for the coming school year. Since I have over a decade of experience under my "belt," with the Special Education school system, here are some words of advice. Parents and caregivers - if you are just starting out, try to work with and not against those that interact with your child. Always keep the lines of communication open and don't let a small issue become HUGE. Don't expect the school system to do EVERYTHING for your child. That is unrealistic. You need to be a full participant in knowing what is going on with your child. To those special education teachers, aides, social workers and everyone else that comes in contact with those differently-abled in the school system, we know that your job can be frustrating, exhausting and hard at times. I apologize for those parents/caregivers that make your job difficult. It can take a while to accept that your child has special needs. Some parents are never able to accept it. I can only speak on behalf of my husband and I, but since Dominic isn't able to verbalize to us what happens at school everyday, my husband and really appreciate the extra time it takes to call, e-mail, text or write us a note! Here's to a great school year!

Those "Steps" to Independence Can Be Hard

We are heading towards 600 orders for Dominic's business. Since our long-term goal for Baked Goods By Dominic is having a "brick-and-mortar" and hire those with disabilities, it is essential and imperative that I continue to teach him all parts of the business. Since I prompted Dominic for so many years for speech, he has become "prompt dependent." What that essentially means is that he will look at me for a prompt, like, "what do you do next?" I do that one a lot. Dominic has been going to a private speech therapist for over ten years and she reminds me often that Dominic usually will know the answer, if I am patient and wait for him. That has been a very hard habit to break! Dominic has an incredible memory, so I put it to the test this morning. I didn't write out the steps, I wanted to see how much he could do completely on his own. We have a customer picking up his order today, but the only thing that had been done is putting the cookies into t...

Why We Pursued Guardianship of our Son with Autism

Last Thursday morning, my husband, Dominic and I went to our county's Probate Court and had Dominic's Guardianship Hearing. My husband and I are Co-Guardians, and we were granted "Partial Guardianship," which means Dominic can make some of his own decisions (future educational and vocational placement options, what to wear and how he wants to spend his free time), but my husband and I will make his medical, health care, legal, contractual and major financial decisions. The subject of Guardianship in the disability "world" has been and continues to be a controversial and divisive topic. I was a panelist for an Autism Conference this past summer and presented on what it's like to have a child with Autism. Towards the end of my presentation, I mentioned that Dominic had just turned 18 and that we were going through the Guardianship process. When the attendees could ask questions, the first person that went up to the microphone started telling me that I was...

Presume Competence

Since we have traveled outside of the United States since Dominic was very small, we have had to get him a Children's Passport every five years. Since his current one expires in February of 2024 and he is now 19, we had to apply for an Adult Passport. I don't know why my husband and I picked Dominic's first day of school and Michigan State University moving in their students, but the appointment was yesterady at 3 p.m. We had gathered all of the documents needed and then went into a special room in the East Lansing Post Office just for Passports. The three of us sat down and the clerk asked Dominic his age. He said, "19." Since we were also getting his picture taken for the Passport, he went into a separate room, where she took a picture of him and then let him look at it to make sure he liked it (it will be his picture for the next 10 years)! He said he did, so he sat back down with us. The clerk filled out a bit more of the paperwork and then she let Dominic s...

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