Skip to main content

Thinking About the Future

I remember very distinctly the very strong feelings I had in the first year after I found out my son, Dominic, had Autism.  I recall thinking way ahead to his future and not having a lot of hope for what he would accomplish.


My only frame of reference at the time about Autism was the movie, "Rainman."  The main character, played by Dustin Hoffman was severely Autistic and lived in an institution.  My husband and I are not young parents.  Dominic is only 7 and I would be lying if I didn't say that I think a lot about what the future holds for him. Will he always live with us? will he get married and have children of his own? I have a friend whose son is well into his 30's or early 40's.  She and I share a common bond in that both our sons have Autism.  Her son has a host of medical issues as well.   They have chose not to put him in an institution, but rather he lives with my friend and her husband.  There are lots of services available when your special needs children are young, but when they reach adulthood, there aren't many options.  There are group homes, but from what I hear,  there are not enough, plus I think there are usually long waiting lists.  I am super blessed that my son (and daughter) have a much older brother that will help take care of them, if something happened to my husband and I.  I have had people ask me what I see for Dominic and his future.  If you would have asked me that question when he was 2 1/2, I would have said I really didn't have much hope for what he could accomplish. But, if you asked me that question now, I would say the possibilities are endless. We have loads to go with him (especially potty training, which he shows NO interest in)!!  Every new word he learns I feel like shouting from the rooftops.  Just the other day he wanted some milk and said, "Mommy, go get it!"  I kind of looked over at him and said, "you know where it is, you go get it yourself!"  It is incredibly cool that I can have a conversation with him, FINALLY!  One of Dominic's favorite things is to do puzzles.  He likes doing puzzles with 10 or less pieces, but he also does puzzles with 300-500 pieces.

This was Dominic working on one of those puzzles, while he was waiting for his bus to take him to school. In the background, you can see the other puzzle he already completed.  I didn't even know he could do these puzzles, until a couple of years ago when he went into the toy closet in the basement and pulled them out!  He also loves computers and can say the alphabet backwards.  My daughter is one of Dominic's biggest "cheerleaders."  She reminds me that he's capable of much more than I think he is. I guess as his mom I want to protect him and I just assume he can't do certain things and I don't like to see him frustrated.  But, as he's gotten older, I've realized I can't protect him from everything and it's part of life that he will get frustrated.  There are two things I plan on teaching Dominic in the next couple of weeks, the 50 states and how to tie his shoes.  Stay tuned for updates!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Those "Steps" to Independence Can Be Hard

We are heading towards 600 orders for Dominic's business. Since our long-term goal for Baked Goods By Dominic is having a "brick-and-mortar" and hire those with disabilities, it is essential and imperative that I continue to teach him all parts of the business. Since I prompted Dominic for so many years for speech, he has become "prompt dependent." What that essentially means is that he will look at me for a prompt, like, "what do you do next?" I do that one a lot. Dominic has been going to a private speech therapist for over ten years and she reminds me often that Dominic usually will know the answer, if I am patient and wait for him. That has been a very hard habit to break! Dominic has an incredible memory, so I put it to the test this morning. I didn't write out the steps, I wanted to see how much he could do completely on his own. We have a customer picking up his order today, but the only thing that had been done is putting the cookies into t

Why We Pursued Guardianship of our Son with Autism

Last Thursday morning, my husband, Dominic and I went to our county's Probate Court and had Dominic's Guardianship Hearing. My husband and I are Co-Guardians, and we were granted "Partial Guardianship," which means Dominic can make some of his own decisions (future educational and vocational placement options, what to wear and how he wants to spend his free time), but my husband and I will make his medical, health care, legal, contractual and major financial decisions. The subject of Guardianship in the disability "world" has been and continues to be a controversial and divisive topic.  I was a panelist for an Autism Conference this past summer and presented on what it's like to have a child with Autism. Towards the end of my presentation, I mentioned that Dominic had just turned 18 and that we were going through the Guardianship process. When the attendees could ask questions, the first person that went up to the microphone started telling me that I was

Presume Competence

Since we have traveled outside of the United States since Dominic was very small, we have had to get him a Children's Passport every five years. Since his current one expires in February of 2024 and he is now 19, we had to apply for an Adult Passport. I don't know why my husband and I picked Dominic's first day of school and Michigan State University moving in their students, but the appointment was yesterady at 3 p.m. We had gathered all of the documents needed and then went into a special room in the East Lansing Post Office just for Passports. The three of us sat down and the clerk asked Dominic his age. He said, "19." Since we were also getting his picture taken for the Passport, he went into a separate room, where she took a picture of him and then let him look at it to make sure he liked it (it will be his picture for the next 10 years)!  He said he did, so he sat back down with us. The clerk filled out a bit more of the paperwork and then she let Dominic s