Wednesday, July 13, 2016

So, That's What "It" Is

Ever since I was a toddler, I have worried. When the first day of school would start approaching, I would work myself up to the point of making my stomach hurt. My mom would let me stay home and by the second day of school I was fine. I'm sure my friends at school were wondering why I  would always miss the first day. My second grade teacher thought there was something "wrong," with me because I didn't talk. Some of my classmates thought I was "stuck up," because I wouldn't talk to them. As I grew older and starting hosting family gatherings, my worrying would be off the "charts."  Even though I was 100% completely organized, again I would get myself worked up to the point of my stomach hurting. Once everyone would start to arrive I was fine, it was like the worrying was switched, "off." When the hubby and I would get an invitation to a social event, about 3-4 hours ahead of the event, I would start having a headache and a stomachache and would convince my husband to go without me because I didn't feel well. Fast forward to November of  2013. I had an appointment with my primary care doctor and I was telling her how much I had going on in my life.   She diagnosed me with, Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Talk about a "light bulb," moment. After 45 years, I FINALLY had a name for all those feelings, all that worrying. Hurray! Okay, the next decision was to figure out if I wanted to go on medication. Being a fiercely independent person, I thought it meant admitting I couldn't handle "it," by myself. Good grief, it doesn't mean that at all. Being put on two different medications was one of the best decisions I have ever made. It doesn't mean you are admitting defeat and are weak, it means you are strong by doing something to help yourself. I am not a doctor and I know that medication is not for everyone. All I know is that the medication has worked for me, for the past two and half years I have felt more, "balanced." The "worrying," isn't 100% gone, but it is manageable. I think it is good to talk about mental health issues.  I loved it when Kristen Bell, a celebrity recently talked openly about her anxiety.  I admire her even more than I already did for speaking out.  Isn't it about time that we talk about "it?"

Presume Competence

Since we have traveled outside of the United States since Dominic was very small, we have had to get him a Children's Passport every fiv...