bountifulplate

"Dominic is one of the brightest individuals I met. I was very lucky to have him in my classroom this summer. He definitely made me a fan of Wheel of Fortune. If you ever need anything, please don't hesitate to call."  Wow. That was the note I got from Dominic's teacher on his last day of summer school.  Those four sentences are exactly what I LOVE to hear. When you have a child with limited or no speech and you ask them how their day is at school, you either get silence or very few details. This is the way it has been since Dominic started school at age three. He just turned 14 on July 25. We have been so lucky to have gotten fabulous teachers who call, write notes, e-mail or text.  I admire and appreciate all Special Education teachers, paraprofessionals, aides, speech therapists and anyone else that works with kids/adults in the school system. I know I couldn't do it. Back when we were just starting out, I talked to another mom about her "ex...

Dominic has "outgrown," some of his sensory issues, but not all. At church, he is usually okay with a man singing, but if a woman with a high-pitched voice is singing, he will plug his ears. I often wonder what that must feel like to him. I wish he was able to tell me. This past Saturday, since Dominic was in dire need of some nice dress shorts, we headed to Sears, because their clothes seem to fit him well. As we stepped into the boy's dressing room, there was a "ding-dong," chime that caught both Dominic and I off-guard. It was really loud, even to me.  Every time we went in and out of the dressing room, this is what he would do: The picture is kind of blurry, because he was practically sprinting out of the dressing room. He would continue to plug his ears until I reassured him it was fine. By about the third time we headed back to the dressing room, he was done, he kept saying, "time to go home, time to go home." I had to promise him McDon...

Recently, when I was heading back home from a meeting, I got lost. It would have been fine, except I had to be home to get Dominic off his school bus. I thought about calling my husband, the bus company or one of my friends to help me, but in my head I kept thinking I could make it home before Dominic. Well, I didn't get home until about ten minutes past the time he gets dropped off. As soon as I got home, I immediately called the bus company and explained my situation. They told me that Dominic was still with the bus driver and she would drop him off shortly. I don't think in all the years Lauren rode the bus, I ever missed getting her off the bus, or if I did, I had my husband or a friend greet her. When Dominic got dropped off that day, after I apologized profusely to the bus driver, I brought him inside the house. I kept telling him, "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry." I was beyond distraught, I felt like I had let my son down . During my evening conversation th...

When our family moved to Michigan over 14 years ago, one of the very first things we did was join a church. We are blessed to be part of such a great faith community. About a year and a half ago, a gal that I knew, but not really, really well, (Mrs. F) approached us after Mass. She was telling our family how her older daughter had worked over the summer with special needs children. A few days later, she sent me this message: "Cathy, I don't think I was very eloquent because I hadn't thought out exactly what I wanted to say. But I was thinking about you all summer. I guess what i wanted to tell you was how much I admire you and your husband. Dom is your son and I know you would do anything for him, just as you do for Lauren and your stepson. But still, you are so incredibly patient and loving...and just amazing. You are lucky to have Dom in your life...but Dom is also a very blessed little boy. That is really what I wanted to say." Wow, I thought she ...

I'm guilty. I admit it. I am reminded by both Lauren and the hubby, more often than not, that Dominic is capable of much more than I give him credit for.  I really don't know why I sometimes underestimate what he can do. Maybe it's because I don't like to see him fail? or get frustrated? I know to learn, he will get upset and cry and possibly scream. I guess it's the maternal instinct in me, I don't like to see my children or anyone else's children sad. Having to tell Lauren that Santa Claus wasn't real was a pretty tough thing. At one time, I was convinced Dominic would never get toilet trained. It truly was easier to just change his diaper or Pull-Up . We knew there was no physical reason why he didn't want to get potty trained, which made it all the more frustrating. More than once I was ready to give up, but his old teacher, Mr. P., planned out the whole process and it did eventually happen. Just in the past three weeks, he has ASKED to use the ...

Before I had Dominic, I had absolutely NO CLUE what Autism was. As I have mentioned before, my only frame of reference was the movie, Rain Man .  I thought all children and adults with Autism lived in institutions and were non-verbal (and, if they did talk, it was to themselves). I also thought they were unable to show emotions. Wow, what a different "view" I have now. I think if I could put the past eight years since Dominic's diagnosis into two words, it would be, "eye-opening." I have learned that not all children and adults live in institutions. Some do, but a lot don't. Yes, there are children and adults that are non-verbal, but that doesn't mean they can't hear. Lauren told me once her thoughts on Autism. She said, "mom, every child is "in there," you just have to find a way to reach them." What a profound statement, wouldn't you say? I have had people ask me whether the "window has closed" for Dominic. The ...

Yesterday, Dominic had a doctor appointment first thing in the morning, so he didn't ride the bus like he normally does to school.  I took him in a little after nine and signed him back in through the attendance office.  Since his teacher had already told me I could bring him back to the classroom, I decided to "tag" along with him. I am still learning my way around his new school, so I kept asking Dominic which way to turn. He was so full of confidence and seemed so grown up, as he lead me through the hallways, it's hard for me to think back to the time when he was this young and actually seemed, "shy." When we arrived at his classroom, Dominic went right to a key on the wall, unlocked his locker and put his backpack and coat away. I then said, "mommy has to leave, can you give me a hug?"  He instead looked right at me, waved, and said, "bye, mommy!" Has my little boy already gotten too big to give his mom a hug in public?" I h...

A week ago, we took Dominic to his very first baseball practice. He is in a league for children and young adults with special needs. Each child on Dominic's team is paired up with a "buddy." This past Wednesday, Dominic had his first game. We were looking around for his "buddy" who we had met at the first practice. We didn't see her or her mom, so I told Lauren she would have to be Dominic's "buddy." As the game time got closer and closer, Dominic's buddy's mom came over to me and said her daughter was going to possibly be a few minutes late. The mom went on to tell me that her daughter was in a music concert and was scheduled to be performing during the time of the baseball game, but was going to perform sooner than she was scheduled, because she wanted to get to the field so she could be Dominic's "buddy!!"  Her mom told me her daughter was in such a rush to fulfill her "buddy" duties that she went out to the f...

Back in late August, I heard of a story involving a child with special needs. It was about an anonymous note that was sent from "one pissed off mother" to a family who has a child with Autism.  The letter was filled with words that were offensive, hurtful and just plain mean.  Parts of it read, "I HATE people like you who believe, just because you have a special needs kid, you are entitled to special treatment!"  Another line, "go live in a trailer in the woods or something with your wild animal kid."  Wow, when I read that, it made me really sad, first of all that a mom could have that much disdain for a child (and his family) and secondly, to take the time to write all that nasty stuff down and then send it?  I find it even more sad to think that this is what the "pissed off mother" is teaching her own children - that it's okay to not have tolerance for others just because they look or act different. Well, I have a news flash f...

Mention potty training to a parent who has been through it or is currently in the midst of it and I'm sure you will hear many stories and opinions. My mom told me once she had to hand me over to a neighbor to be trained. Guess I was a little stubborn, huh??  While Dominic has made progress in a lot of areas, the potty training has proved to be much, much slower than we anticipated.  There seemed for years to be a disconnect between him knowing where to do the #1 and #2 and actually having him doing it.  I would ask him "why" he didn't want to do it, but he really couldn't fully verbalize his reasons. Anytime we even attempted to train him in the past, he was super anxious and stressed, so we kept putting it off.  Believe me, I have read just about every book ever published about potty training, both for typically developing children and ones with special needs.  There was no physical reason why he couldn't do it, so it made it all the more frustrating. With mo...