bountifulplate

I first started writing this blog back in July 2011, because the first six months of 2011 were incredibly challenging (lots of personal losses). I needed a way to get out all of the emotions I had been holding in. My husband calls me the "glue that holds our family together." Well, that's sweet, but sometimes glue dries up and starts to "crack" a bit! I have never considered myself a writer (I have a degree in Business).  Anyways, flash forward to April 28 of this year. We had just dropped off my stepson and his wife at their hotel and were driving home from Lauren's college graduation. I was sitting in the back seat and started getting text messages from my brother that my mom was going to the hospital for an infection. The next day she was eating applesauce and was in relatively good spirits. I was totally caught off-guard the next day (Monday) when my brother called me to tell me my mom was gravely ill. My first extinct was to hop on a plane and fly back...

Nobody makes it through their lives without losing at least one person they were close to.  Throughout my own lifetime I have lost many.  2011 was an especially hard year starting in January with the passing of my mother-in-law and then in March with the passing of my first cousin.  It seemed like just about every month, either I knew someone personally that had passed or knew of someone that had passed.  Back in July of 2011, when I started this blog, I wanted a way to get some of my feelings out about what I was going through.  I would have been happy if one person read my blog and got some kind of comfort from the words that I had wrote.  When I was a teen, I did have one of those diaries with the little lock on it.  For a little while I wrote in it, but it felt more like a chore, something I had to do.  My blog on the other hand, is something I look forward to doing.  I have found an enormous amount of comfort in writing down what I have ...

This Saturday (November 26) has a special significance for me.  My beloved cousin that passed away  in March would have been 50.  She left behind so many people that struggle with the loss.  My cousin was one of  a  twin and she also has a younger brother.   My aunt (her mom) is one of the many people that loved and adored my cousin.  I have written about my "Auntie" before.   She was married to my mom's brother.  My aunt took care of her husband and at the same time helped to take care of my 101-year old grandmother until both of them passed away.  She and I talk a lot about what it is like to be the "caregivers"  in our families.   My aunt and I  have a really tight bond and we are incredibly close.  I cherish my relationship with her.  She has been a good sounding board for me and I hope that I have been the same for her.  She has been one of my son's biggest supporters through all of his c...

I think sometimes people need to have what I like to call a "filter."  You know those people I'm talking about, they pretty much say what they're thinking without thinking about how their words come out.   Words can be used to tell someone how great you look or they can be used to criticize how you look.  My aunt (who I absolutely 200% adore, admire and love with all of my heart) lost one of her adult children in March of this year.  It wasn't that long ago that my aunt lost her husband (my uncle) and her mother-in-law (my grandmother).  I can't even wrap my mind around what that must be like.  My aunt is one of the strongest women I know and I get a lot of my strength from her.  She told me something the other day that just about broke my heart.  My cousin (her daughter) is one of a twin.  I grew up with my twin cousins along with their younger brother.  Neither of my dad's siblings had children, so I only  have those first cousins...

One thing that I have discovered (especially this past year) is that when you lose someone special to you there are two ways to view it.  One is positively and one is negatively.  I choose to view it in a positive way.  My daughter was very close to her grandfather (my husband's father) and he passed away back in 2005.  Just this past January we lost my mother-in-law (my husband's mother).  My daughter had gotten particularly close to her because her other grandmother lives back in Maryland.  When she passed away it was really hard on my daughter.  She is still actively mourning her grandfather and it's been difficult to comfort her and know just the right words to say.  One thing I heard recently is that when someone passes away one of the worst things you can say is, "I know how you feel."  Unless you have been in someone's shoes you really don't know.  The best words that I have found to comfort her and others that I know that are gri...