Thursday, November 30, 2017

It's Never "Okay"

It seems like almost daily, another man is accused of sexual harassment, etc. I can't even keep track of it. It's like a lid has been pulled off a boiling pot and all the men accused are spilling out. What would have happened if all that stuff hadn't come out about Harvey Weinstein? How long would have all those men been kept in the "boiling pot?" I think the individuals coming forward are very brave and it makes me sad that they felt their voices were not heard for so long or that they kept it inside for years and sometimes decades. I told my dad recently about my "#MeToo" moment. I thought I had told him before, but evidently I hadn't. Anyways, in the late 1980's into the early 1990's I worked for a very small company as a receptionist. I was told by the owner of the company I had to always wear panty hose and a skirt/dress. I did it because I liked the job and the people I worked with. After I had been there a few years, the owner hired an older gentleman. He was easily three times my age. On more than one occasion, he made comments about my figure and how I looked in my clothes. It made me more than a little uncomfortable and I talked to the owner of the company privately. His response, "if you take him to court, I would be on his side." I can still remember his words this many years later. When I finished telling my dad the whole story he said something along the lines of, "I can't say that I'm surprised, that's the way it was back then." Excuse me?? It's never okay for that type of thing to be going on in the workplace. My experience sounds tame compared to the stories I've seen and heard in the news. After I moved on from that job, I took a night class at the local college. I had a professor that would come and stand behind me just a little bit too close. This happened so many times that I eventually dropped the class. I had passed the point of being able to get a refund, but I had to get out of the class for my own mental well being. I had actually forgot about that professor until all of these stories starting coming out in the news. Many of the accused men claim they are "sorry." Are they really sincere or are they "sorry" they got caught???? Time will tell.

Thursday, November 9, 2017

The "Ladies"



Dominic has been going to music therapy for a while at the Michigan State University Community Music School. During his half hour session, I sit in the lobby area along with other parents/caregivers.  There are a handful of tables and chairs and most people either read, use their computers and/or chat with the others at their table. Each Wednesday afternoon, when I came into the lobby, I noticed a table of  four ladies all older than me, chit chatting. They seemed to know each other VERY well. They all had special needs adult children/grandchildren that were also participating in music therapy. I would overhear them talking about topics that I was very interested in, but all the chairs were taken and I didn't want to be nosy, pull up a chair and just plop myself down and interrupt. One day about a year or so ago, one of the ladies didn't show up, so there was an empty seat. I had been bringing my sheet of disability ministry events and knew at some point, I would go over and talk to them. This was my opportunity and I grabbed it! I went over and sat down and told them about the ministry. They were the nicest, sweetest and kindest women! Over the past year, I have gotten to know the three ladies and we have shared so much with each other. When I told them about my Cancer in January, they prayed for me. When one of the ladies and her daughter needed a ride home from a recent doctor appointment, I helped her out. This trio of ladies have become like Dominic's "surrogate," grandmas. They have become my friends. It has been an incredibly eye-opening experience to listen to the ladies talk about their experiences as caregivers. The half hour goes by very quickly and usually I'm not done yakking when Dominic is finished!!! Last week, I didn't bring Dominic to music therapy because I didn't feel well. Yesterday, the ladies were all asking where I was. It's nice to be missed!!!

Presume Competence

Since we have traveled outside of the United States since Dominic was very small, we have had to get him a Children's Passport every fiv...