One thing that I have discovered (especially this past year) is that when you lose someone special to you there are two ways to view it. One is positively and one is negatively. I choose to view it in a positive way. My daughter was very close to her grandfather (my husband's father) and he passed away back in 2005. Just this past January we lost my mother-in-law (my husband's mother). My daughter had gotten particularly close to her because her other grandmother lives back in Maryland. When she passed away it was really hard on my daughter. She is still actively mourning her grandfather and it's been difficult to comfort her and know just the right words to say. One thing I heard recently is that when someone passes away one of the worst things you can say is, "I know how you feel." Unless you have been in someone's shoes you really don't know. The best words that I have found to comfort her and others that I know that are grieving a loved one is to say, "I feel blessed to have known her/him." I have told that to more than one person that has lost someone special and I like to hope at least that I have brought them some comfort even if it is just a little. I have told my husband more than once that I feel blessed to have known his mom. I know that he misses her too. He doesn't really talk about it very much, but I know that he does. When I am really missing a loved one I even tell myself that I feel blessed to have known them. Life brings us many things happy and sad, choose to look at the brighter side, even when it seems there isn't one and remember there is always tomorrow!
When Dominic was diagnosed with Autism at 2 1/2, I went to our local library and took out every book I could find about Autism. Sometimes I would bring back 20 books. This was 2006, so a lot of the information was very "dated." I guess I was looking for a book that would tell me what I should do next, like a "manual." Autism doesn't quite work that way! The saying is, " if you know one person with Autism, you know one person with Autism." Every mom to an individual with Autism follows their own "path." I think as moms, we judge ourselves much harder than anyone else does. I was 41 when I had Dominic. Did he get the diagnosis of Autism because I was an older mom? because I drank a lot of pop? I could sit and think about that every minute of every day. I am pretty integrated into the Autism community around Lansing and have told more than one person that it took me about two weeks to come to terms with Dominic's diagnosis. It is so incredib...
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