I think sometimes people need to have what I like to call a "filter." You know those people I'm talking about, they pretty much say what they're thinking without thinking about how their words come out. Words can be used to tell someone how great you look or they can be used to criticize how you look. My aunt (who I absolutely 200% adore, admire and love with all of my heart) lost one of her adult children in March of this year. It wasn't that long ago that my aunt lost her husband (my uncle) and her mother-in-law (my grandmother). I can't even wrap my mind around what that must be like. My aunt is one of the strongest women I know and I get a lot of my strength from her. She told me something the other day that just about broke my heart. My cousin (her daughter) is one of a twin. I grew up with my twin cousins along with their younger brother. Neither of my dad's siblings had children, so I only have those first cousins. They lived in another state from me growing up, but we tried hard to get together with them for holidays and other special occasions. I treasure my phone calls with my "Auntie." I like to carve time out of my day (our calls are not short, the last one was over 1 1/2 hours)!!!! She and I talk about all kinds of things. We were talking about her daughter that passed away and she told me that when my cousin and her sister were little someone told her, "well, I can always tell you apart, you're the heavier one." What a thing to tell a young girl! Girls from a young age care so much about how they look. That comment (which I'm pretty sure wasn't meant to be mean and hurtful) stuck with my cousin and bothered her for quite a long time after that. She was one of the most beautiful, amazing people inside and out. I miss her all the time. I was able to fly back for her funeral/memorial service. I told my aunt at the time, I would have crawled there if I had to, there was absolutely NO WAY I was going to miss that. My cousin left behind a daughter who is growing into a very mature young woman. My cousin would have been so proud of her. I like to hope that my blog posts and the words contained within them are always positive and caring. Words can be so powerful, use them wisely.
When Dominic was diagnosed with Autism at 2 1/2, I went to our local library and took out every book I could find about Autism. Sometimes I would bring back 20 books. This was 2006, so a lot of the information was very "dated." I guess I was looking for a book that would tell me what I should do next, like a "manual." Autism doesn't quite work that way! The saying is, " if you know one person with Autism, you know one person with Autism." Every mom to an individual with Autism follows their own "path." I think as moms, we judge ourselves much harder than anyone else does. I was 41 when I had Dominic. Did he get the diagnosis of Autism because I was an older mom? because I drank a lot of pop? I could sit and think about that every minute of every day. I am pretty integrated into the Autism community around Lansing and have told more than one person that it took me about two weeks to come to terms with Dominic's diagnosis. It is so incredib...
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