From time to time I think about a comment that one of my elementary school teachers wrote on my report card. It said, "something is wrong with Cathy, she doesn't talk." I really don't know why that comment has stuck with me all these years. Through a large portion of my school years, I was what you would call the "quiet" kid. At times, most definitely "shy." Those were the two "labels" most associated with me. I tried to keep my nose clean and not get into trouble. The other day, my daughter and I were watching a show called, "Toddlers and Tiaras." It's a show on the TLC Network that's a reality show for kids beauty pageants. Either a judge or one of the moms (I can't remember) was talking about the contestants being "facially gifted." That was a label I had never heard before in my life. When my daughter was a baby/toddler, I toyed briefly with putting her in beauty pageants. But, once I saw how much cash was involved for dresses, entry fees, etc. I decided it probably wouldn't be a good idea. I guess I'm one of these people that tries not to judge people by their looks. I judge people more by their actions and how they treat others. I've always thought that it's whats inside that counts. I think parents sometimes get hung up on labeling their kids. I read things like, "my son is the athlete in the family" or "my daughter is the brain." Doesn't that put a lot of pressure on their kids to live up to that label? When I tell my friends that I used to be quiet/shy they can't believe it! If only my old elementary school teacher could see me now. I would probably have the desk right next to her because I wouldn't stop talking! I'm so glad my "label" didn't stick with me!
When Dominic was diagnosed with Autism at 2 1/2, I went to our local library and took out every book I could find about Autism. Sometimes I would bring back 20 books. This was 2006, so a lot of the information was very "dated." I guess I was looking for a book that would tell me what I should do next, like a "manual." Autism doesn't quite work that way! The saying is, " if you know one person with Autism, you know one person with Autism." Every mom to an individual with Autism follows their own "path." I think as moms, we judge ourselves much harder than anyone else does. I was 41 when I had Dominic. Did he get the diagnosis of Autism because I was an older mom? because I drank a lot of pop? I could sit and think about that every minute of every day. I am pretty integrated into the Autism community around Lansing and have told more than one person that it took me about two weeks to come to terms with Dominic's diagnosis. It is so incredib...
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