Skip to main content

"Sliding" into Independence

We returned this past Sunday night from a one week vacation to our favorite resort in Jamaica. This particular resort has several pools and we like to hang out by the pool specifically designed for kids. One of the most popular things to do is to go down the giant water slides.


Okay, a little background on the water slides. Two years ago, when we were at this resort, Dominic and I almost drowned at the foot of the slides. We had went over to be able to greet Lauren as she came down, not realizing how deep it was. The lifeguard had to jump in and pull us to the surface. SCARY. That incident was the number one reason I enrolled Dominic in swimming lessons shortly after we returned home.  Anyways, last Friday, (the day before we left), Dominic and I headed over to watch Lauren come down. She had asked several times throughout the week if Dominic could go down the slides. Each time I said no.  I hadn't thought of asking Dominic until we watched Lauren. To my surprise, he said yes! Okay, now I had a decision to make. Do I let my fear hold him back or do I let him try?  Lauren promised me she would be with him the whole time. The lifeguard was also sitting within a foot of the bottom of the slides, so there was not a chance he would drown.  I let him go.  He came down the slide with no problems at all! When they came over to see me, Lauren asked him if he wanted to go again. He said YES! They went down a few more times.





Even now, with Dominic turning 13 in about four months, I am still guilty of underestimating his abilities. My husband and Lauren have to remind me! I don't know why I still assume he can't do something. Trying is a part of learning, right? I think it's my inner "mamma bear " instincts of wanting to protect my "cubs." I was the "playground police," when Lauren was little to make sure she always got her turn on the swings, etc. Good grief. Looking back, I was pretty overprotective!!!  Lauren will be 21 in a few months. As I have watched her grow into an independent and self-confident woman, our relationship has evolved and changed. Ever so often, I catch myself going into that overprotective "mode" with her.  Does that feeling of wanting to protect our children ever go away? I am 53 and my dad is still over protective of me, so I guess I just answered my own question!! As Dominic continues to mature and become more independent, I need to loosen those restrictions I don't mean to place on him. I have already taught him what to say to me when I bug him too much. He says, "please just leave me alone."  I'm glad he can recognize those times when those pre-adolescent feelings kick in! My relationship with Dominic is starting to change and evolve, just like Lauren and I need to change with it, right???

Comments

  1. RIGHT. It is not easy to let your children have the freedom to grow up, but an essential part of the process. Keep your sense of humor, and smile, Love, Auntie

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Those "Steps" to Independence Can Be Hard

We are heading towards 600 orders for Dominic's business. Since our long-term goal for Baked Goods By Dominic is having a "brick-and-mortar" and hire those with disabilities, it is essential and imperative that I continue to teach him all parts of the business. Since I prompted Dominic for so many years for speech, he has become "prompt dependent." What that essentially means is that he will look at me for a prompt, like, "what do you do next?" I do that one a lot. Dominic has been going to a private speech therapist for over ten years and she reminds me often that Dominic usually will know the answer, if I am patient and wait for him. That has been a very hard habit to break! Dominic has an incredible memory, so I put it to the test this morning. I didn't write out the steps, I wanted to see how much he could do completely on his own. We have a customer picking up his order today, but the only thing that had been done is putting the cookies into t...

Why We Pursued Guardianship of our Son with Autism

Last Thursday morning, my husband, Dominic and I went to our county's Probate Court and had Dominic's Guardianship Hearing. My husband and I are Co-Guardians, and we were granted "Partial Guardianship," which means Dominic can make some of his own decisions (future educational and vocational placement options, what to wear and how he wants to spend his free time), but my husband and I will make his medical, health care, legal, contractual and major financial decisions. The subject of Guardianship in the disability "world" has been and continues to be a controversial and divisive topic.  I was a panelist for an Autism Conference this past summer and presented on what it's like to have a child with Autism. Towards the end of my presentation, I mentioned that Dominic had just turned 18 and that we were going through the Guardianship process. When the attendees could ask questions, the first person that went up to the microphone started telling me that I was...

Presume Competence

Since we have traveled outside of the United States since Dominic was very small, we have had to get him a Children's Passport every five years. Since his current one expires in February of 2024 and he is now 19, we had to apply for an Adult Passport. I don't know why my husband and I picked Dominic's first day of school and Michigan State University moving in their students, but the appointment was yesterady at 3 p.m. We had gathered all of the documents needed and then went into a special room in the East Lansing Post Office just for Passports. The three of us sat down and the clerk asked Dominic his age. He said, "19." Since we were also getting his picture taken for the Passport, he went into a separate room, where she took a picture of him and then let him look at it to make sure he liked it (it will be his picture for the next 10 years)!  He said he did, so he sat back down with us. The clerk filled out a bit more of the paperwork and then she let Dominic s...