Skip to main content

Momma's Popcorn

When my beloved mother-in-law (who I affectionately called "Momma")  passed in January we had to clean out her room at the assisted living facility where she had lived for about 4 years.  My mother-in-law was always a stylish woman, she wore perfume and lipstick all the way up to the few days before she passed.  She had  tons of clothes in her closet.  When we moved her here from Cleveland, I started washing her clothes for her about once a week.  Whenever I would go over to visit her,  she always made a HUGE production out of me washing her clothes.  The caregivers and I had worked out a system so I knew which clothes were dirty and which were clean.  They would leave the buttons or snaps undone on the clothes hanging on their hangers in the closet,  so I could pull them right out of the closet and toss them into a bag to take home and wash.  There would also be a few articles of clothing in the dirty clothes basket too, but all of her clothes could easily fit into one load in our washing machine. We would go through the same  "dog and pony" show every week.  She would say stuff like, "Cathy, that's too much of a bother, don't wash those clothes!!"  I would always say back, "why, do you want to smell?"  She would kind of shake her head at me, but she would be laughing.  When we had to bring all of her clothes back to our house, I knew at some point we would have to donate them all.  I found it really hard to go through all of her clothes, because they still smelled like her and her perfume.  I let them sit in our spare bedroom for a few weeks and then my hubby started saying, "we really need to be going through these clothes and donate them."  I kept trying to explain to him I was having a really difficult time going through her clothes.  I did eventually start washing them and began to donate them to charity.  I had put a handful of the clothes aside either to keep for myself, or that had to be dry cleaned/needed special cleaning.  About a week or so ago, one of the charities that we donate to was having a pick up.  I gathered up about a loads worth and started going through the pockets of the clothing.  I reached into one of the pockets of her favorite coats and I found a bunch of popcorn.  My mother-in-law loved popcorn!  She would save the bags of popcorn from the "Popcorn Socials"  for my hubby when he would visit her. She always felt she had to "give" him something.  She also would save her desserts from her meals to give to him.  I think on some levels (she had advanced dementia),  she was still trying to entertain.   When she lived in Cleveland and we would visit her and my father-in-law she would always be a terrific hostess.  She was also one heck of a cook and baker.  I would always tell her she could make better chocolate chip cookies than me!  I'm a person who  believes that when  someone passes , you can still feel their presence, not like a ghost, but that when you are sad and missing them a lot they let you know that they are there to comfort you.  Thank you Momma for letting me know you are still around.  I still love and miss you so much.

Comments

  1. What a lovely tribute to someone you really cared about. You honor her memory and all the others in your life who are no longer here when you share your love. Auntie

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Book Every Autism Mom Should Read

When Dominic was diagnosed with Autism at 2 1/2, I went to our local library and took out every book I could find about Autism. Sometimes I would bring back 20 books. This was 2006, so a lot of the information was very "dated." I guess I was looking for a book that would tell me what I should do next, like a "manual." Autism doesn't quite work that way! The saying is, " if you know one person with Autism, you know one person with Autism." Every mom to an individual with Autism follows their own "path." I think as moms, we judge ourselves much harder than anyone else does. I was 41 when I had Dominic. Did he get the diagnosis of Autism because I was an older mom? because I drank a lot of pop? I could sit and think about that every minute of every day. I am pretty integrated into the Autism community around Lansing and have told more than one person that it took me about two weeks to come to terms with Dominic's diagnosis. It is so incredib...

Need to Call Bella's Mom

Dominic at least a few times a week will tell me, "need to call Bella's mom!" Who is Bella you may ask? Here is the answer to that question: I first met Bella shortly after Dominic's first grand mal seizure. She and her mom approached me at the Meijer grocery store back in June of last year as I was grabbing a milk jug out of the dairy case. Dominic and Bella go to the same middle school.  I have never forgotten what Bella's mom told me that day, "I would love to get our children together and be in Dominic's life however much you will let us." Bella's mom has the most generous heart and has passed on those values to her three children.  Bella and Dominic made sugar cookies last summer: When Dominic had a choir concert at school and neither Lauren or my husband could attend, Bella and her mom surprised us after the concert! The number one thing I admire about Bella is how incredibly compassionate she is. There is a respect a...

It's a "Group" Effort

Since going to the local barbershop is still not allowed where we live, it fell upon us to figure out the best way to shave Dominic's beard and mustache. Typically, Dominic goes to our local barbershop to get his haircut and his barber (Vince) also takes about 30 seconds to shave the beard and mustache. This August, it will be five years that Dominic has been going to Vince. That in itself is a huge milestone as anyone with a child/adult with sensory sensitivities knows. Anyways, earlier in the week my hubby, Lauren and I had all noticed that Dominic's facial hair definitely needed some assistance. I mentioned to Lauren that I needed to find a "social story" about getting a shave. Before I had a chance to find one, she took it upon herself to find one and print it out, it had both an electric shaver and shaving cream/razor stories! That meant so much to me, because she didn't have to do that, she wanted to!    I showed the social story to Dominic and sai...