Thursday, December 5, 2013

The "Blame" Game

Earlier this year, the hubby showed me an article that he had read stating that there was a link between older fathers and their children having Autism.  My husband was genuinely upset and sad when he read this. He said something to me like, "I'm sorry if I caused Dominic's Autism." If you Google "causes of Autism" there are many things that will pop up such as genetic, environmental, and maternal age, just to name a few.  For many years, Autism was said to be blamed on "refrigerator moms."  The thinking was that if the mom was "cold" like a refrigerator, and lacked maternal "warmth," then that's why her child had Autism.  So sad for all of those moms that thought that. When you have a child with special needs it just doesn't affect the child, it affects everyone in the family.  Parents sometimes blame each other for their child's special needs.  I read something that said parents of special needs children have a higher rate of divorce.  Difficult and stressful situations will either pull you apart or bring you closer together. In our case, it's the latter.  I play the "blame" game once in a great while, thinking drinking too many diet colas when I was pregnant or not talking or playing with Dominic enough when he was an infant "caused" his Autism. What if I spent my days feeling sorry for myself or for our family, wouldn't that be counterproductive? I instead embrace the closeness and the love that the five of us have for each other. Isn't that a much better use of my time???

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