Earlier this year, the hubby showed me an article that he had read stating that there was a link between older fathers and their children having Autism. My husband was genuinely upset and sad when he read this. He said something to me like, "I'm sorry if I caused Dominic's Autism." If you Google "causes of Autism" there are many things that will pop up such as genetic, environmental, and maternal age, just to name a few. For many years, Autism was said to be blamed on "refrigerator moms." The thinking was that if the mom was "cold" like a refrigerator, and lacked maternal "warmth," then that's why her child had Autism. So sad for all of those moms that thought that. When you have a child with special needs it just doesn't affect the child, it affects everyone in the family. Parents sometimes blame each other for their child's special needs. I read something that said parents of special needs children have a higher rate of divorce. Difficult and stressful situations will either pull you apart or bring you closer together. In our case, it's the latter. I play the "blame" game once in a great while, thinking drinking too many diet colas when I was pregnant or not talking or playing with Dominic enough when he was an infant "caused" his Autism. What if I spent my days feeling sorry for myself or for our family, wouldn't that be counterproductive? I instead embrace the closeness and the love that the five of us have for each other. Isn't that a much better use of my time???
When Dominic was diagnosed with Autism at 2 1/2, I went to our local library and took out every book I could find about Autism. Sometimes I would bring back 20 books. This was 2006, so a lot of the information was very "dated." I guess I was looking for a book that would tell me what I should do next, like a "manual." Autism doesn't quite work that way! The saying is, " if you know one person with Autism, you know one person with Autism." Every mom to an individual with Autism follows their own "path." I think as moms, we judge ourselves much harder than anyone else does. I was 41 when I had Dominic. Did he get the diagnosis of Autism because I was an older mom? because I drank a lot of pop? I could sit and think about that every minute of every day. I am pretty integrated into the Autism community around Lansing and have told more than one person that it took me about two weeks to come to terms with Dominic's diagnosis. It is so incredib...

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