I recently read an article that was talking about the "Millennial" generation. These are moms between the ages of 18-34. Even though I don't fall into that age category (I could easily be a mother to these women), I found the article fascinating. The article quoted one mom as saying in regards to child rearing, "I don't know how mothers did this without their smartphones, I have an app for everything." Interesting. I don't have a smartphone, I have a TracFone! I don't even know how to download an app :) Does that make me a dinosaur or stubborn? My mom has told me that when I was born in 1963, that she had me in one arm and Dr. Spock's parenting book in the other! When I had Lauren in 1996, I had her in one arm and Dr. T. Berry Brazelton's book in the other! How many moms my age read any of his books?? I guess every generation has their own parenting "expert." This article also talked about a report that surveyed over 2,000 "Millennial" moms. It showed a "predisposition towards alternative sources of information suggests that this might be the generation that ends the "mommy wars" the battle between the moms - to achieve the right way to mother." Is there a "right" way to mother? Why are were still talking about the "mommy wars?" I get so tired of hearing that moms "battle." I think it is so ridiculous. Why do we feel like we have to "compare" ourselves to other moms? It is certainly not up to me to judge another mom, because I wouldn't want another mom to judge me. Believe me, there is "comparing" even in the special needs world. I encountered it first hand a few years back. I was telling another mom of a special needs child all the different things we were doing with Dominic. Her response back was something like, "that's it? that's ALL you are doing?" I was so flabbergasted I had to walk away from that mom!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What I have definitely learned if nothing else, from having a special needs child, is not all therapies work for every child. You have to find what works for your child, you know your child the best. Even if you don't have a special needs child, not every two children are the same, are they? Your parenting style that worked for one child, might not necessarily work for another child, your technique might need to be "adjusted" to fit your child's needs and personality. Money was a good motivator for my stepson and Lauren, for Dominic it's not a motivator at all. I think all moms can learn from other moms no matter what the age. I am still learning things from my own mom, she showed me how to debone a chicken recently! As I head towards being a stay-at-home mom for almost 18 years, I can only remember one mom that gave me a hard time about it and decided from the start she wouldn't like me based solely on the fact that I was a stay-at-home mom. Oh, well. I try very hard to support other moms and I find I get that support right back when I need it. I think it's time to put an end to the "mommy wars" once and for all, who's with me?
When Dominic was diagnosed with Autism at 2 1/2, I went to our local library and took out every book I could find about Autism. Sometimes I would bring back 20 books. This was 2006, so a lot of the information was very "dated." I guess I was looking for a book that would tell me what I should do next, like a "manual." Autism doesn't quite work that way! The saying is, " if you know one person with Autism, you know one person with Autism." Every mom to an individual with Autism follows their own "path." I think as moms, we judge ourselves much harder than anyone else does. I was 41 when I had Dominic. Did he get the diagnosis of Autism because I was an older mom? because I drank a lot of pop? I could sit and think about that every minute of every day. I am pretty integrated into the Autism community around Lansing and have told more than one person that it took me about two weeks to come to terms with Dominic's diagnosis. It is so incredib...
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