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Winning Fair and Square

A few weeks ago, the hubby, Dominic and I went bowling.


We played two games. Dominic won the first game and the hubby won the second game. We didn't "let" Dominic win the first game, he beat us, "fair and square." When you play a board game with your child, do you "bend" the rules to make it easier for them to beat you? This past weekend, Lauren was home visiting from college. I asked her if she wanted to play a game. I wanted to play Yatzhee or Trouble, but she said she wanted to play a game that was based on skill, not luck. I guess I'm the reverse. We ended up playing Scrabble. That game is a little bit of luck and a little bit of skill, so it was a good compromise. I like the old adage, "it's not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game."  I think sometimes as parents, it's easy to get so caught up in winning, that we don't teach our kids how to lose. I will never, ever forget a soccer game where I was the goalie. I was probably like 15 or 16 years old. The team we were playing against was clearly much better than we were. I remember a parent on the opposing team yelling something on the sidelines like, "come on, we can score a goal on her, she isn't very good!" Wow. This happened over 40 years ago and I STILL remember it.  It's great to win, but isn't it also okay if we lose? I think it is so important to teach good sportsmanship. Okay, hold on, because I'm hopping onto my "soapbox."  Not every child wins a ribbon or trophy, but shouldn't they get something for trying??  Do you see the big smile on Dominic's face? The yellow certificate is a "participation" certificate.


I think ALL kids should get one of those types of certificates, whether they have special needs or not. Whether your child does music, art, drama or whatever else they choose, my opinion is that they should at a minimum, get some form of recognition for all of their hard work. Whether that means their name is called out over a loud speaker at a sporting event, receiving a "participation" certificate or just having their name listed in a music, art or drama program. Okay, I'm hopping back off my "soapbox" now!! What about you? what are your thoughts? Should your children get "participation" certificates or ribbons? Have you ever "let" your child win when you've played a game with them, just to make them happy? or, do you always play "fair and square?"

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  1. AnnaJanuary 22, 2015 at 9:54 PM

    As an autistic flutist with some athletic experience, I support participation awards, especially if it's something you try out/audition for. It also takes a lot of strength just to get out there and play.

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