I was thinking this past Monday night, when the four of us were all about five feet from each other, all doing different things, that it will probably be a long time until I have an empty "nest." More than one of my friends have kids that are graduating or have already graduated from high school. I have friends whose kids are even already married!!! They are around my age (or younger). It took me several years to find my "Prince Charming." I was in my early thirties when I had Lauren and my early forties when I had Dominic. The hubby likes to tell people he had a kid every decade (my stepson in the 80's, Lauren in the 90's and Dominic in the 2000's)! I think it blows a lot of people's minds that he has a 7-year old (my husband has a big birthday later this year that starts with a "6" and ends with a "0"). I want our home to always be a place where my stepson, Lauren and Dominic always feel welcome. Our door is always open. My hope for Dominic is that he will live independently of us, but I am also realistic. He may always live with us :) I moved in and out of my parents "nest" a few times until I moved out permanently to get married. I hear more and more in the news about children that have moved out and have had to move back in because they weren't able to afford living on their own. Sometimes they bring their own children back with them. It's not uncommon these days to have more than one generation living under the same roof. What is your "nest" like right now, full or empty?? or somewhere in between??
When Dominic was diagnosed with Autism at 2 1/2, I went to our local library and took out every book I could find about Autism. Sometimes I would bring back 20 books. This was 2006, so a lot of the information was very "dated." I guess I was looking for a book that would tell me what I should do next, like a "manual." Autism doesn't quite work that way! The saying is, " if you know one person with Autism, you know one person with Autism." Every mom to an individual with Autism follows their own "path." I think as moms, we judge ourselves much harder than anyone else does. I was 41 when I had Dominic. Did he get the diagnosis of Autism because I was an older mom? because I drank a lot of pop? I could sit and think about that every minute of every day. I am pretty integrated into the Autism community around Lansing and have told more than one person that it took me about two weeks to come to terms with Dominic's diagnosis. It is so incredib...
We are coming full circle. It wasn't so long in the past where it was common for generations to live together. I like the idea. Lot's of wisdom to help with the new generations. Adult energy to help with the endless energy from little ones. Conversation available that is not just "child's play." I love my life with my husband and kiddos. I, too, started the whole kiddo adventure in 2006. I love the full nest! When my Dad visits the days are full and the kids LOVE LOVE LOVE him. Love your posts. Laura Hubbard
ReplyDeleteIn Germany there are many houses with multiple levels, one for each generation. Things are very expensive there, particularly owning property, so it's not at all uncommon for adult children to be living with their families.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for the comments :)
ReplyDelete