Skip to main content

The "Why" Questions

We are super blessed that Dominic is talking and even though he is behind with his speech, 95% of the time he can communicate to us what he wants and needs.  Being able to answer the "why" questions still present a huge challenge for him.  While most of the time I have tons of patience with Dominic, I sometimes have those times when I hit my limit.  About six weeks or so ago, after being fully trained with the potty training for several months, he decided that he was all done.  He started having accidents and lots of anxiety.  I have been down this road with him before, but it was after he had a migraine. That was not the case this time, so I was more than a little perplexed. The more I pushed, the more he resisted.  Potty training is all about the control, right??  It reached the point that I was almost ready to put him back in diapers (yes, I was THAT frustrated).  I relayed my concerns to Dominic's teacher at school and he made a picture schedule that helped.  Last week, when I was having lunch with a close friend, I was telling her about how frustrated I was with Dominic that he couldn't tell me "why" he was resisting the potty training so much. She looked right at me and said, "he probably doesn't know."  Hmm, that sure put things back into perspective for me!  What a wise friend I have :) The whole potty training "road" we have been on with Dominic has definitely been a long and bumpy one. I think the first time we introduced the concept to him was when he was around three years old.  He is now over 9 1/2.  When a typically developing child masters potty training, it's done and you move on.  With Dominic, I liken it to a roller coaster ride, it's been up, down and round and round, with seemingly no end.  I finally came to the conclusion that if I didn't make a big deal out of it, he had less anxiety. I was like, "okay, whatever, do it or don't do it."  The "reverse psychology" approach seems to be working (at least for now). Once he lets us know "why" he has such issues with the toilet training, my next question for Dominic is "why" does he have such a fascination with his nose?!?!?!!

 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A Book Every Autism Mom Should Read

When Dominic was diagnosed with Autism at 2 1/2, I went to our local library and took out every book I could find about Autism. Sometimes I would bring back 20 books. This was 2006, so a lot of the information was very "dated." I guess I was looking for a book that would tell me what I should do next, like a "manual." Autism doesn't quite work that way! The saying is, " if you know one person with Autism, you know one person with Autism." Every mom to an individual with Autism follows their own "path." I think as moms, we judge ourselves much harder than anyone else does. I was 41 when I had Dominic. Did he get the diagnosis of Autism because I was an older mom? because I drank a lot of pop? I could sit and think about that every minute of every day. I am pretty integrated into the Autism community around Lansing and have told more than one person that it took me about two weeks to come to terms with Dominic's diagnosis. It is so incredib...

Mainstreaming and Inclusion

The hubby and I were discussing the other day how special education students were treated back when he and I were in school.  He remarked to me that in his time, they were "hidden away" from the rest of the students.  When I was in elementary school, I can remember seeing the kids in those classrooms pass by us in the hallway.  I don't ever recall seeing them in the lunchroom or playground.  I'm so glad that times have changed.  Even though Dominic is in a "self-contained" special education classroom, he does get to go to the art, gym and music classrooms.  He also gets to eat lunch in the school cafeteria.  He loves hot lunch on Thursday - pizza!! Given Dominic's abilities, he is able to be "mainstreamed" into the general education classroom for small amounts of time.  Every moment he is able to do that gives me so much hope for his future.  I absolutely love what Dominic's current teacher is doing.  He has started a peer-to-peer progra...

Need to Call Bella's Mom

Dominic at least a few times a week will tell me, "need to call Bella's mom!" Who is Bella you may ask? Here is the answer to that question: I first met Bella shortly after Dominic's first grand mal seizure. She and her mom approached me at the Meijer grocery store back in June of last year as I was grabbing a milk jug out of the dairy case. Dominic and Bella go to the same middle school.  I have never forgotten what Bella's mom told me that day, "I would love to get our children together and be in Dominic's life however much you will let us." Bella's mom has the most generous heart and has passed on those values to her three children.  Bella and Dominic made sugar cookies last summer: When Dominic had a choir concert at school and neither Lauren or my husband could attend, Bella and her mom surprised us after the concert! The number one thing I admire about Bella is how incredibly compassionate she is. There is a respect a...