The "Why" Questions

We are super blessed that Dominic is talking and even though he is behind with his speech, 95% of the time he can communicate to us what he wants and needs. Being able to answer the "why" questions still present a huge challenge for him. While most of the time I have tons of patience with Dominic, I sometimes have those times when I hit my limit. About six weeks or so ago, after being fully trained with the potty training for several months, he decided that he was all done. He started having accidents and lots of anxiety. I have been down this road with him before, but it was after he had a migraine. That was not the case this time, so I was more than a little perplexed. The more I pushed, the more he resisted. Potty training is all about the control, right?? It reached the point that I was almost ready to put him back in diapers (yes, I was THAT frustrated). I relayed my concerns to Dominic's teacher at school and he made a picture schedule that helped. Last week, when I was having lunch with a close friend, I was telling her about how frustrated I was with Dominic that he couldn't tell me "why" he was resisting the potty training so much. She looked right at me and said, "he probably doesn't know." Hmm, that sure put things back into perspective for me! What a wise friend I have :) The whole potty training "road" we have been on with Dominic has definitely been a long and bumpy one. I think the first time we introduced the concept to him was when he was around three years old. He is now over 9 1/2. When a typically developing child masters potty training, it's done and you move on. With Dominic, I liken it to a roller coaster ride, it's been up, down and round and round, with seemingly no end. I finally came to the conclusion that if I didn't make a big deal out of it, he had less anxiety. I was like, "okay, whatever, do it or don't do it." The "reverse psychology" approach seems to be working (at least for now). Once he lets us know "why" he has such issues with the toilet training, my next question for Dominic is "why" does he have such a fascination with his nose?!?!?!!

Comments

Those "Steps" to Independence Can Be Hard

We are heading towards 600 orders for Dominic's business. Since our long-term goal for Baked Goods By Dominic is having a "brick-and-mortar" and hire those with disabilities, it is essential and imperative that I continue to teach him all parts of the business. Since I prompted Dominic for so many years for speech, he has become "prompt dependent." What that essentially means is that he will look at me for a prompt, like, "what do you do next?" I do that one a lot. Dominic has been going to a private speech therapist for over ten years and she reminds me often that Dominic usually will know the answer, if I am patient and wait for him. That has been a very hard habit to break! Dominic has an incredible memory, so I put it to the test this morning. I didn't write out the steps, I wanted to see how much he could do completely on his own. We have a customer picking up his order today, but the only thing that had been done is putting the cookies into t...

Why We Pursued Guardianship of our Son with Autism

Last Thursday morning, my husband, Dominic and I went to our county's Probate Court and had Dominic's Guardianship Hearing. My husband and I are Co-Guardians, and we were granted "Partial Guardianship," which means Dominic can make some of his own decisions (future educational and vocational placement options, what to wear and how he wants to spend his free time), but my husband and I will make his medical, health care, legal, contractual and major financial decisions. The subject of Guardianship in the disability "world" has been and continues to be a controversial and divisive topic. I was a panelist for an Autism Conference this past summer and presented on what it's like to have a child with Autism. Towards the end of my presentation, I mentioned that Dominic had just turned 18 and that we were going through the Guardianship process. When the attendees could ask questions, the first person that went up to the microphone started telling me that I was...

Finding the Right "Reward"

During the 2023-2024 school year, I would ask Dominic if he would like to read a book from time-to-time. The answer was always a "no." I didn't want to put any pressure on him, since he got on the bus about 7:20 a.m. and didn't get home from school until close to 3 p.m. He also had art therapy, speech therapy and music therapy! This summer, I tried a different approach. The Capital Area District Library System has a summer reading program. You could log in reading times online, but with Dominic being such a "visual" learner, I opted to print out the sheet. We also worked with his private speech therapist to have him ask me, "Mommy, can we read a book?" He would have to do that first, me not ask him. The sheet from the library had two sets of circles that you could check off or put an "x" on. Each one had 30 circles, for a total of 60 circles. Each "circle" represents 20 minutes of reading. When he reached 30 circles, I told him...

bountifulplate

Search This Blog