My last post was about someone I didn't know who said something that I considered out-of-line and offensive. Well, this post is about someone that I have known a very long time saying something that was really hurtful in regards to myself and Lauren. Again, I "shut down" and didn't know how to respond. After I hung up the phone with this person, I was really upset. It took me a little while to calm myself down. I guess this person thought that he was being funny, but it definitely wasn't. I have considered him to be like the older brother that I never had. It has really made me seriously rethink if I even want to remain friends with him. When you have someone that you have known a long time say something incredibly offensive, do you tell them that it really hurt your feelings or do you just move on, like it was never said? I have gone back and forth thinking today about it. I have gotten over being really ticked about it (that only lasted a little while), but now I'm trying to figure out whether I should say something or not. He is a friend of the hubby's, so I could have him tell him that I was offended by his comments, but I feel like I should be the one to do it. What's that old saying? Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me? Well, I'm here to say that words do hurt!! What about you? would you confront the person and tell them how it hurt your feelings? or would you just let it go? I would love to hear!
When Dominic was diagnosed with Autism at 2 1/2, I went to our local library and took out every book I could find about Autism. Sometimes I would bring back 20 books. This was 2006, so a lot of the information was very "dated." I guess I was looking for a book that would tell me what I should do next, like a "manual." Autism doesn't quite work that way! The saying is, " if you know one person with Autism, you know one person with Autism." Every mom to an individual with Autism follows their own "path." I think as moms, we judge ourselves much harder than anyone else does. I was 41 when I had Dominic. Did he get the diagnosis of Autism because I was an older mom? because I drank a lot of pop? I could sit and think about that every minute of every day. I am pretty integrated into the Autism community around Lansing and have told more than one person that it took me about two weeks to come to terms with Dominic's diagnosis. It is so incredib...
There are times when you just have to let go and let God. The chances are, since he is a male, he doesn't even know he offended you. In the long run, how important is it? You know who you are and what you stand for, it is not important what he thinks. You are not responsible for his words, only for your actions about it. Would your actions change anything? Can your husband be held responsible for what he said? I think not. My advice is: Let it go! Auntie
ReplyDeleteWise words from a wise woman!
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