Following the "Path" to Independence

There was a time (in the not so distant past), when we would have to do pretty much everything for Dominic, like telling him when to eat, drink, get him dressed, etc. I can remember when he learned how to button his shirt and zip up his own jacket - I was overwhelmed with emotion. Right before the holiday break, Dominic's class went to a movie theater and also bought snacks with their own money. I was so excited when I heard his class was doing that, because he had never been to see a movie in a theater, much less purchase his own snacks. Earlier this week, I was making myself a ham omelette and asked Dominic if he wanted a piece of ham. He came over, took one look and said, "good bye, ham!" I love that he was able to tell me how he felt, plus with the added bonus of being a junior comedian :) Thursday night, I was upstairs and I heard Dominic say "milk" downstairs. I then heard my husband say, "do you want some milk??" Dominic said "yes." I heard my husband getting him a cup and the jug of milk out of the fridge for him. My husband then said, "be careful that's really full, do you know how to pour your own milk??" Since I had taught Dominic to get his own milk and pour it himself a while back, I knew he could do it. Guess the hubby knows now too! Friday morning, before I took a quick shower, I told Dominic that when I got done, he was going to have to get dressed and get out of his pajamas. When I was done with my shower and came into the bedroom, he was sitting on my bed with his shirt and pants on. At first I said, "did you fish those out of the dirty clothes?" Upon closer inspection, the clothes he was wearing appeared to be clean. I then said, "where did you find those clothes?" He was very adamant and said, "Dominic's room!!!" I went down to his room and he pointed to where I had a pile of clean clothes that hadn't been put in his dresser yet. Since I had never told him directly to go get some clean clothes and be dressed before I was done with my shower, I was really proud of him for taking the initiative on his own :) Just this morning, when he woke up early, he was able to get himself something to eat until we got up a little later. Granted, it was a few peanut butter cookies with sprinkles, but that's okay. It's not the end of the world if he has cookies for breakfast once in a while! I know that Dominic will still need help in the future following the "path" to independence, but he can be rest assured that someone will always be there for him and what a great thing that will be.

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Those "Steps" to Independence Can Be Hard

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Last Thursday morning, my husband, Dominic and I went to our county's Probate Court and had Dominic's Guardianship Hearing. My husband and I are Co-Guardians, and we were granted "Partial Guardianship," which means Dominic can make some of his own decisions (future educational and vocational placement options, what to wear and how he wants to spend his free time), but my husband and I will make his medical, health care, legal, contractual and major financial decisions. The subject of Guardianship in the disability "world" has been and continues to be a controversial and divisive topic. I was a panelist for an Autism Conference this past summer and presented on what it's like to have a child with Autism. Towards the end of my presentation, I mentioned that Dominic had just turned 18 and that we were going through the Guardianship process. When the attendees could ask questions, the first person that went up to the microphone started telling me that I was...

Presume Competence

Since we have traveled outside of the United States since Dominic was very small, we have had to get him a Children's Passport every five years. Since his current one expires in February of 2024 and he is now 19, we had to apply for an Adult Passport. I don't know why my husband and I picked Dominic's first day of school and Michigan State University moving in their students, but the appointment was yesterady at 3 p.m. We had gathered all of the documents needed and then went into a special room in the East Lansing Post Office just for Passports. The three of us sat down and the clerk asked Dominic his age. He said, "19." Since we were also getting his picture taken for the Passport, he went into a separate room, where she took a picture of him and then let him look at it to make sure he liked it (it will be his picture for the next 10 years)! He said he did, so he sat back down with us. The clerk filled out a bit more of the paperwork and then she let Dominic s...

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